“Yes. I feel stronger,” I agree, though I’m still wary about where this is going.
He nods, pleased. “Then it’s time you learn to use your magic.”
“And how will I do that?”
He crosses his arms, looking determined.
“I’ll train you.”
Chapter14
Morgana
Training me might be one thing. But when I hear how Leon plans to do it, I’m out before he’s finished talking.
“No, absolutely not.” I turn my back on him, as if I can block out his proposal. “There’s no way.”
“When did you get the impression I was offering you a choice?” he asks. I’m not sure whether to feel threatened. Somewhere in the last few days, we’ve both accepted he won’t be killing me anytime soon, but aside from that, I don’t know where he draws the line. I don’t know if hehaslines.
I glance at Alastor, but he’s committed to ignoring us, studying a piece of bread so intently, I’m surprised it hasn’t burst into flames.
“You’re crazy if you think I’m just going to lie down and…” I search for the right phrase. “Let you dothatto me.”
Sleep. He wants me to go to sleep right here in front of him, then allow him into my mind so he can train me in my dreams.
“If you can’t reach your magic naturally, it means something in your mind is blocking you from it.” He shrugs. “This is the safest way to remove that block.”
“And since when were you so concerned for my safety?”
I know what he’s going to say as soon as I finish snapping at him.
“Hmm, how about from the moment I rescued you from an assassin in the palace? Or when I eliminated the band of strange men who were hunting you down in the woods? Or when I guarded you through a fever that nearly killed you?”
“Self-interest,” I throw back. “Keeping me alive all those times benefited you.”
“Of course,” he says, as if it’s obvious he’d never help someone out of the nonexistent goodness of his ice-cold heart. “But it just so happens that it was all in your interest too. This situation is the same. It’ll be hard for us to secretly cart you across the country if you keep accidentally leaving great, burning beacons to draw attention our way.”
I say nothing. He might possibly have a point, but putting myself at his mercy like that…No. I can’t.
He holds me in place with his eyes. “Or do you want to go on lumbering through life, with no idea how to use your power, having it explode out of you at the worst possible time? I can see how that would go, can’t you?” He taps his chin and talks like he’s considering the weather. “I don’t know exactly how they do it here in Trova. Do they execute solari with hanging? With a quick beheading? Or perhaps they go for something more…involved. Burning, maybe? Drowning?”
I flinch. The truth is, I don’t know how they execute solari. It’s possible no one knows except the priests. All I’ve ever heard is that solari are taken away and never seen again. But the image of me on a dais beside a sword-wielding Nunias flashes into my mind.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Leon continues. I see a flicker of frustration on his features. “Don’t youwantto get stronger?”
I let out a short, surprised laugh. He has no idea the hours I’ve spent on my knees, praying to all the gods to make me stronger, knowing that if I wasn’t so weak, so helpless, everything would change.
And I can’t deny I’m hungry to have one change in my life thatI chose.
“Alright, fine,” I say, walking up to him. I don’t think I’ve willingly put myself this close to the Nightmare Prince since the day we met. I’ve always been tall, but of course he’s taller, and he looks down at me now, his dark hair brushing the sides of his face as he smirks in a way that sends a prickle down my spine.
“Smart decision,” he says.
It occurs to me that I could no more keep him out of my mind than I could keep the sun from rising. Unless I stayed awake forever, sooner or later, he would find his way into my dreams. I also know that he didn’t have to ask. But he did anyway. That’s…surprising. And it makes me feel the tiniest bit better about this idea.
Just a tiny bit, though. Because I already know this is going to be extremely awful.
This is keeping you alive.
