He can’t…I can’t let him leave. Not without…
I hurriedly push myself off the floor and rush down to the basement, almost falling on the last few stairs in my haste. With clumsy fingers, I shoulder the Fender and grab the guitar bag.
I take the stairs to the top two at a time, and I rush out the front door. My mom is still trying to coax Wesley out of the room, but I know he’s not in there. We’ve been friends for years; I know him.
Sure enough, I see him hurrying down the street with his bag slung over his shoulder.
“Wesley, wait!” I yell, praying he will at least hear me out.
He stops walking but doesn’t turn around. His shoulders heave, the rise and fall making my heart clench. I did this to him. I forced him to run away from the only safe place he has. Now he has no one, and that’s on me.
“Please,” I say, taking one step toward him. “Take…take this. It’s yours.” I hold the guitar out to him, hoping he’ll take it. He asked me to keep it, but if he leaves now, I have a feeling he won’t come back to get it. If he’s going to leave me, I want to him to have something to remember me by.
Wesley drops his head, a pained noise leaving his throat. “Why did you do it, Jax?”
Anger bubbles up inside me, catching me by surprise. I’m not mad at him, but I am pissed.
I shoulder the guitar and grab his arm and turn him around. I lift his shirt and point to his bruised body. “That, Wesley! That’s why! I don’t like to see you hurt, dammit.”
He doesn’t try to lower his shirt, nor does he drop his gaze from mine. Those fathomless brown eyes bore into me, and my anger bleeds away.
“I’m sorry, Wesley. I fucked up. I know that, but please, take this. You can be done being my friend, I won’t stop you, but don’t go without it. It’s yours. It’s always been…yours.”Just like me.But I don’t say those words. I simply peel the guitar strap from my shoulder and slide it onto his, glad when he doesn’t try to pull away.
We stare at each other for long seconds, so many emotions crossing Wesley’s face—anger, hurt, fear, regret, then landing on determination. “That song…it’s for us. Me and you, we’re supposed to meet in the stars.” With that, he presses his lips firmly against mine. Hot tears slide down my cheeks, and I don’t know if they’re mine or his.
This will be the only time I kiss him, the only time I taste his love, so I lean into him, a soft sob leaving my lips as I follow his kiss.
I fucked this up so bad. I wish I could take it back, to not say anything, but I’d rather he hate me and be safe than continue to get his ass beat because an abuser can’t keep his hands to himself.
Wesley places his forehead against mine. “You really fucking hurt me, Jax.”
I push words past the boulder in my throat. “I know.”
“I thought I could trust you.”
“Forgive me. Please.” My voice cracks on the last word. “I’m sorry.”
“I can’t.” He pulls away and walks backward, adjusting the strap to the guitar. “I don’t think I ever will.” With that, he turns and runs away without looking back.
FOUR
WESLEY
My chest burnsthe entire trip home, the guitar on my shoulder weighing me down as much as my emotions. Fucking Jaxon. He should have kept his mouth shut. Now I can’t escape. I have nowhere else to go when shit gets bad.
I’m glad I haven’t told him about what else Perry has done to me. He would have told his mother, shown my weakness, and him telling her wouldn’t have done any good. Nothing would happen to Perry, and he’d be free to take advantage of me again. And if not him, someone else. A constant cycle I wouldn’t be able to escape.
I pray to a god I no longer believe in that Perry and my mom aren’t in the living room when I push the door open. For once, my prayers are answered, the room blissfully empty.
Shutting the door behind me as quietly as I can, I hurry to my room to stash my guitar. I don’t want my mother or Perry to see it and take it from me, maybe pawn it for drug money. It’ll be all I have from Jaxon.
Fuck.
Jaxon.
I knew we could never be together, but I didn’t think he’d torch our friendship like this. He’s the only person I had, the only person that made me feel safe. Sure I have other friends, but none of them are like him. That was taken away when he couldn’t keep his word.
I push thoughts of Jaxon from my head, not wanting another fissure to lance through my heart at the thought of him.
