Here goes nothing.
“The comment you made about Damien… I mean, Coach Banning.”
Fuck, I had to stop doing that.
“Oh, that he’s hot?”
I nodded, shifting in my seat. Nothing in life prepared me for having frank talks with my brother about sex and sexuality. Still, it was my job to ensure that he was a responsible adult in every way, and that meant, even if the conversation was difficult, I had to do it.
There was a pause of silence, and I worried that maybe I’d chosen the wrong moment to bring it up.
“Don’t you think you should say something first?” he whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“I know.”
“Know what?”
Josiah sighed.
“I saw a text, purely by accident, on your phone, a year ago. A text between you and Darby. I know you’re gay. Or you’re bi? Or pan? Whatever, it’s cool.”
That blush that burned my cheeks yesterday was back.
“I am. Gay, that is. I was going to tell you,” I replied quietly. “I was, I don’t know, waiting for the right time. It’s not that I’m ashamed of who I am, but with hockey and your recent health stuff, I?—”
“It’s okay, bro. You don’t have to talk about it. I know you’re under a lot of pressure as it is. But I wanted you to know that I know. Not saying anything’s been bothering me for a while.” Josiah let out a sharp exhale. “Fuck, I feel so much better.”
At least one of us did.
“Jo—”
“I know, language.” He chuckled. “Anyway, it’s good. We’re good. You’re my brother, and I love you. I want you to be happy.”
I bit my lower lip and nodded.
“And back to your question, I think I’m bi. Or pan,” Jo stated matter-of-factly. “Pretty sure. I mean, I find girls and guys hot.”
“Okay. You’re not, I mean, we talked about this already, but, I mean, are you—” I fumbled for words like I’d never spoken before.
I gripped the steering wheel so tight I’m surprised I didn’t wrench it from the dashboard.
“Si, we’ve had this talk. I already know all I need to about sex. And being responsible. Trust me. And no, I’m not sleeping with anyone. I’m not ready yet.”
This time, it was my turn to let out a shaky breath.
“Good. Fine. You know you can ask me anything, and?—”
“Can we change the subject? Please?” Josiah interrupted.
“Thank fuck.”
“So, doyouthink your Coach is hot?” he returned.
I jerked the steering wheel, but thankfully, kept us steady.
“Okay, maybe now’s a good time to exit the highway,” Josiah pointed out.
