“They do it at the mall,” Zeke told her. “We’ll get you a big one.”
Now they were pulling at her heart, as well as her hands. Filled with the emotion of the moment, she crouched down to hug them to her. “You guys are the best.” She laughed as Zark pushed in for attention. “You, too.” Her arms full of kids and dog, she looked up to smile at Mac as he stepped in from the kitchen. “Hi. Sorry I took so long. Some of the kids hung around, wanting to go over every mistake and triumph of the concert.”
She shouldn’t look so right, so perfect, snuggling his boys under the tree. “I didn’t hear any mistakes.”
“They were there. But we’ll work on them.”
She scooted back, sitting on a hassock and taking both boys with her. As if, Mac thought, she meant to keep them.
“We don’t have any wine,” Zack informed her solemnly. “But we have milk and juice and sodas and beer. Lots of other things. Or …” He cast a crafty look in his father’s direction. “Somebody could make hot cocoa.”
“One of my specialties.” Nell stood to shrug out of her coat. “Where’s the kitchen?”
“I’ll make it,” Mac muttered.
“I’ll help.” Baffled by his sudden distance, she walked to him. “Or don’t you like women in your kitchen?”
“We don’t get many around here. You looked good up onstage.”
“Thanks. It felt good being there.”
He looked past her, into the wide, anticipation-filled eyes of his children. “Why don’t you two go change into your pajamas? The cocoa’ll be finished by the time you are.”
“We’ll be faster,” Zeke vowed, and shot toward the stairs.
“Only if you throw your clothes on the floor. And don’t.” He turned back into the kitchen.
“Will they hang them up, or push them under the bed?” Nell asked.
“Zack’ll hang them up and they’ll fall on the floor. Zeke’ll push them under the bed.”
She laughed, watching him get out milk and cocoa. “I meant to tell you, a few days ago they came in with Kim to rehearsal. They’d switched sweaters—you know, the color code. I really impressed them when I knew who was who anyway.”
He paused in the act of measuring cocoa into a pan. “How did you?”
“I guess I didn’t think about it. They’re each their own person. Facial expressions. You know how Zeke’s eyes narrow and Zack looks under his lashes when they’re pleased about something. Inflections in the voice.” She opened a cupboard at random, looking for mugs. “Posture. There are all sorts of little clues if you pay attention and look closely enough. Ah, found them.” Pleased with herself, she took out four mugs and set them on the counter. She tilted her head when she saw him studying her. Analytically, she thought. As if she were something to be measured and fit into place. “Is something wrong?”
“I wanted to talk to you.” He busied himself with heating the cocoa.
“So you said.” She found she needed to steady herself with a hand on the counter. “Mac, am I misreading something, or are you pulling back?”
“I don’t know that I’d call it that.”
Something was going to hurt. Nell braced for it. “What would you call it?” she said, as calmly as she could.
“I’m a little concerned about the boys. About the fallout when you move on. They’re getting too involved.” Why did that sound so stupid? he wondered. Why did he feel so stupid?
“Theyare?”
“I think we’ve been sending the wrong signals, and it would be best for them if we backed off.” He concentrated on the cocoa as if it were a nuclear experiment. “We’ve gone out a few times, and we’ve …”
“Slept together,” she finished, cool now. It was the last defense.
He looked around, sharply. But he could still hear the stomping of little feet in the room overhead. “Yeah. We’ve slept together, and it was great. The thing is, kids pick up on more things than most people think. And they get ideas. They get attached.”
“And you don’t want them to get attached to me.” Yes, she realized. It was going to hurt. “You don’t want to get attached.”
“I just think it would be a mistake to take it any further.”
