No regrets, she promised with one last glance at her daughter’s window. No regrets at all.
The wind picked up a bit as she walked. There’d be snow for Christmas. She could feel it. She’d look forward to that, not back any longer.
“Still fond of walking?”
CHAPTER 3
Had she known he’d find her? Perhaps she had. Perhaps she’d needed him to. “Some things don’t change,” she said simply as Jason fell into step beside her.
“I’ve found that out in one afternoon.” He thought of the town that had stayed so much the same. And of his feelings for the woman beside him. “Where’s your daughter?”
“She’s sleeping.”
He was calmer than he’d been that afternoon, and determined to stay that way. “I didn’t ask you if you had other children.”
“No.” He heard the wistfulness in her voice, just a sigh of it. “There’s only Clara.”
“How did you pick the name?”
She smiled. It was so like him to ask questions no one else would think of. “From the Nutcracker. I wanted her to be able to dream.” As she had. Dropping her hands in her pockets she told herself they were simply two old friends walking through a quiet town. “Are you staying at the inn?”
“Yeah.” Amused, Jason rubbed a hand over his chin. “Beantree took my bags up himself.”
“Local boy makes good.” She turned to look at him. It was easier somehow walking like this. Odd, she realized,she’d seen the boy when she’d looked at him the first time. Now she saw the man. His hair had darkened a bit but was still very blond. It was no longer unkempt, but cut in a carelessly attractive style that had it falling over his brow. His face was still thin, hollow at the cheeks in the way that had always fascinated her. And his mouth was still full, but there was a hardness around it that hadn’t been there once. “You did make good, didn’t you? You made everything you wanted happen.”
“Most everything.” When his eyes met hers, she felt all the old longings come back. “What about you, Faith?”
She shook her head, watching the sky as she walked. “I never wanted as much as you, Jason.”
“Are you happy?”
“If a person isn’t, it’s their own fault.”
“That’s too simple.”
“I haven’t seen the things you’ve seen. I haven’t had to deal with what you’ve had to deal with. I am simple, Jason. That was the problem, wasn’t it?”
“No.” He turned her to face him and slid his hands up to her face. He wore no gloves, and his fingers warmed against her skin. “God, you haven’t changed.” As she stood very still he combed his fingers up through her hair, then down to where the tips brushed her shoulders. “I’ve thought about the way you look in the moonlight countless times. It was just like this.”
“I’ve changed, Jason.” But her voice was breathless. “So have you.”
“Some things don’t,” he reminded her and gave in to the need.
When his mouth touched hers, he knew that he’d come home. Everything he remembered, everything he thought he’d lost was his again. She was soft and smelled of springtime even when snow dusted the ground around them. Hermouth was willing, even as it had been the first time he’d tasted it. He couldn’t explain, even to himself, that every other woman he’d held had been nothing but a shadow of his memory of her. Now she was real, wrapped in his arms and giving him everything he’d forgotten he could have.
Just once, she promised herself as she melted against him. Just once more. How could she have known her life had such a void in it? She’d tried to close the door on the part of her life that included Jason, though she’d known it wasn’t possible. She’d tried to tell herself it was only youthful passion and girlish fancy but she’d known that was a lie. There’d been no other men, only memories of one, and wishes, half-forgotten dreams.
She was holding no memory now but Jason, as real and urgent as he’d always been. Everything about him was so familiar, the taste of his lips on hers, the feel of his hair as her fingers raked through it, the scent of man, rough and rugged, that he’d always carried with him even as a boy. He murmured her name and drew her closer, as if the years were trying to separate them again.
She wrapped her arms around him, as willing, as eager, and as in love as she’d been the last time he’d held her. The wind whipped around their ankles, puffing up clouds of snow while the moonlight held them close.
But it wasn’t yesterday, she reminded herself as she stepped back. It wasn’t tomorrow. It was today, and today had to be faced. She wasn’t a child any longer without responsibilities and a love so big it overshadowed anything else. She was a woman with a child to raise and a home to make. He was a wanderer. He’d never pretended to be anything else.
“It’s over for us, Jason.” But she held his hand a moment longer. “It’s been over for a long time.”
“No.” He caught her before she could turn away. “It isn’t. I told myself it was, and that I’d come back and prove it.You’ve been eating at me half my life, Faith. It’s never going to be over.”
“You left me.” The tears she promised herself she wouldn’t shed spilled over. “You broke my heart. It’s barely had time to mend, Jason. You won’t break it again.”
