My brother observes me for a while, as if reading my mind, and then he makes a deep sigh.
"But for now… you should just apologize to him. Give him something. If we’re forced to leave him here to die in pain and alone, the least you can do is give him that."
I squeeze my eyes shut. My hands are shaking.
"Summer… please." I choke on the words, not even sure what I’m trying to say. "Do you really think anything I say now is gonna change the situation?"
"It won’t change what’s happening to him. But it might change how he feels. And he’s hurting. So badly."
"Stop. Please—just stop."
I turn and walk out of the gazebo. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stand how hopeless this all feels. I hate this helplessness.
I hate myself for how things turned out between me and Sun.
But what can I do?
What the hell can I do?
SUN
After seeing him, which felt like a hit on the head, I somehow find enough strength to turn around and walk away from the window. Or was it fear? Of what he could sense in me if we kept looking at each other.
For a good half an hour, I stand by the mirror and stare at my face.
Then, I head to the bathroom and take a solid shower.
What am I doing?
What the fuck am I doing?
It’s like I’m a puppet with no will of my own. I do whatever my body pushes me to do. I walk down the stairs, to the living room, to the patio.
Then, carefully, I slip into the garden alleys.
As soon as I step into the gazebo, Ragnar appears.
So he was waiting, after all.
He stops in the doorway and stares at me. There’s a strange intensity in his eyes. Like a whole sea of fire, emotions, and inner turmoil.
"Sun."
He says my name like it means more than just… my name.
His scent hits me the moment he enters, and I notice something different.
It smells like deodorant, but not the regular kind! There’s a slightly ozonic note I recognize.
A lot of guys in my high school class, back when their glands first activated, used that kind of pheromone-blocking deodorant.
I use the same one now.
And before I can ask why he’s off the super-suppressants, he speaks.
"Summer told me you defended him from Rocco. I wanted to thank you for that… I know you probably hate me now. Think I’m a total piece of shit. But I wanted to apologize. I never meant to hurt you or treat you unfairly. This is a seriously fucked-up situation, and I’d do anything—anything—to give you even the tiniest chance to escape. You have to believe me…"
He stops, pressing his lips together like he just bit his tongue. Like he doesn’t want to say too much.
