I was going to be brave about this. After everything I’d lost in my life, I was going to go after what I wanted, no matter how fleeting it was.Be brave. Be strong.
“Am I imagining things? Is there not something here between us?” I asked.
Pris’ eyes hardened. “You were just kissing Beau and now you're asking me if there's something between us, too?”
I winced, realizing how that must've sounded. My chest ached as I struggled to find the right words. “I didn’t mean for that to come across that way. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about you and there’s something about Beau, too. I want both of you, Pris, but I shouldn’t have made the assumption that both of you were interested in me as well.”
Her expression softened. “Well, for the record, Iampolyamorous. Although, I’ve never had the chance to date multiple people at the same time. I’m not sure Beau is, though. Can’t say we’ve ever discussed it. Regardless, you’re going to be gone soon. Unless you’re planning on staying at Rainbow Ranch?”
I swallowed hard. “I’ll be here until storm season is over.”
“And then?”
I didn't really want to think about the future at the moment. This was the best and safest I’d felt in a really long time, and I wasn't sure I ever wanted to go home.
Not that I even had a real home. My home had been the van for the last six months.
“I don't really know yet,” I admitted. “I’m still figuring things out. Working on the ranch has been tough. It’s hard work. I’m not used to being off my phone so much. But, being with you has made it fly by. The bonfires, the way everyone is just here for each other, the horses. It feels special. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.”
“Sky, I’ve enjoyed spending time with you,” she said gently. “But I also don't really like doing casual relationships. I struggle with it.”
“I struggle with it too,” I whispered.
In fact, I had a tendency to dive in way too fast. Much to my detriment most of the time. Every time I ended up having myheart broken, I put another tough layer around myself to try to protect it from that hurt.
But then it happened again. And again.
Just like now. Here I was, diving in headfirst. And yet . . .
“I also know that there are sparks here, and I don't wanna walk away from them,” I whispered.
Maybe that wasn't right of me to do since I was planning on leaving. Then again, every time I was around her or Beau, I just wanted more. I wanted to explore my desires, I wanted to explore whatever tension there was between us.
Becoming who I was taught me to embrace all the good moments. It taught me to never let something like this go by without taking it all the way.
The problem was, I often ended up hurting people in the process. And I didn't want to hurt Pris. I didn't want to hurt Beau either.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don't want to push or anything like that. I'm sorry if I made you feel awkward or if I've disrupted things between you and Beau.”
Pris snorted and stood up, grabbing her hat. A few loose curls that laid flat against her head disappeared as she placed her hat on top. She crossed her arms as she looked me up and down.
“Do you always apologize this much?” she asked.
“Well . . . maybe.”
“Okay, well, rule number one. Don’t apologize to me for something that doesn’t need apologizing for. You didn't do anything wrong. Beau and I are not a couple, and we've never been together. We've never even kissed. We've never once talked about anything like that, and I've known him for years.”
Pris sucked in a breath, her shoulders softening before she continued.
“I think if he were interested in me, he would've said something by now. He's known you for just a couple days, andhe's already kissed you. And I'm not saying that from a place of jealousy . . . Okay, well maybe I am a little bit jealous of you.”
“Jealous ofme?” I asked in disbelief.
She wrinkled her nose. “Yes. I don’t like it, either. Not my favorite feeling. But I feel jealous because I want to kiss you. And I also want to kiss that bossy cowboy. But, I can’t do either, because then I’ll go falling in love with the both of you. Then you’ll leave, and Beau will . . . Well, I don’t know what.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but my words faltered as she took a step closer, her fingers knotting in my hair at the base of my head. She leaned in, stunning me speechless as she kissed me hard on the lips.
Fireworks burst through me. Kissing her was different than kissing Beau. Both of them were equally amazing. I swooned against her, a whimper leaving me as she took control, stealing my breath until she drew back.
