“That’s not the only thing that’s going to make you scream tonight, you fucking whore.” He slams my body into the ground, pressing my face into the dirt as I cough and breath in the earthy particles. It’s like chalk on my tongue, and only gets worse as his hand presses harder at the back of my skull.
“Nathan, please don’t do this.” My words are muffled as more dirt smears on my cheek and over my mouth.
My fingers claw into the dirt as I attempt to push myself up, but he slams his knee into my lower back, pressing me down. He leans forward, his hands find my wrists, putting all his weight onto them.
“You’re hurting me,” I manage to spit out, but it sounds like barely a whisper, even though I feel like I’m screaming inside.
I kick my legs and use all my strength to move my arms. I manage to get my right arm out from his grip, but he uses that free hand to grab a handful of my hair, pulling hard before slamming my face back down onto the ground.
A twig breaks underneath my cheek, and the sting that cuts through my skin feels like salt on an open wound.
For a brief moment, I’m in denial. That this isn’t really happening. This can’t be happening.
But I put myself in this position by sneaking out with Seamus, and it’s my fault I’m here.
And it’s my fault I hit Nathan, that I made him so angry that he’s paying me back for embarrassing him.
Everything is my fault.
Tears stream down my cheeks and all I can do is beg and plead with him to stop. The volume of my words vary between a whisper and a scream, and I can’t decipher or process any of the words I’m using.
“Nathan, please stop,” I beg. “Stop!” I scream, as I throw my head back and forth.
“Shut up!” he screams as he turns me over.
Blinding pain explodes behind my right eye as he backhands me, and my body goes limp.
“I’ve done nothing but been nice to you, Mimi.” Gripping the collar of the hoodie, he yanks it hard, pulling my neck off the ground as he tries to tear it off, but it’s too thick and doesn’t budge.
“Fuck!” he yells in frustration, and it’s terrifying how angry he is.
A crash of broken glass echoes around me and he holds the bottle up to my neck. My eyes widen as I stare into his enlarged pupils, blown out and invading everything behind his evil eyes.
Pressing into the thick cloth, he saws mindlessly at the corner of the collar, and the fabric tears easily. My hair is a victim to his mindless cutting, and loose strands float around me, landing on my face and now exposed chest.
Tossing the bottle, he uses both his hands and rips the sweater down the middle. The sound rings through my ears. His unwanted touch gropes me aggressively as I plead for him to stop. But he just keeps going. I squint hard, hoping this is a nightmare, but when I reopen my eyes, he’s still there, holding me down.
His fingernails pinch into the side of my hips gripping my underwear, then he yanks hard, using my own body to rip them off. He tosses them away, leaving me completely naked.
“No.” I try to protect myself with my heavy arms, but it’s no use when he smacks them away.
He kicks my legs open as he unzips his pants, and the weight of his body sits heavily on my hips. I scream when he pushes into me, and the excruciating pain travels from my core all the way to my throat. A thousand needles pierce my insides. My organs explode and my heart feels like it dies.
My heart, my mind, my soul. I can feel pieces of myself falling away.
This isn’t happening.This isn’t happening.
I squeeze my eyes shut and open them, trying to find clarity. Trying to understand.
Another hard thrust and I wail out again as he squeezes my breasts hard, the pain radiating through my entire body.
My arms fly up to protect myself, and I have one more burst of strength as I attempt to kick him off me, flailing my arms at his chest, swinging and hitting.
My weak pleas get louder as I push myself to fight.
Keep fighting, Mimi. Just keep fighting.
I have more in me. I have more fight left in me.
