Journey was officially avoiding me. It left me with a huge pit in my stomach. One that kept on growing bigger.
By the time the week ended, I’d seen little of her, and I was growing impatient. Why didn’t she want me when all I could think about was her?
I refused to believe what we had was one sided. That night between us was special. Did she not see it the same way? Or was she avoiding me on purpose?
When I could no longer take it, I drove to the garden center and found her watering plants in the back, no one else around.Finally.
“Hey, Journey.” I said as I walked over to her.
Her back noticeably stiffened and when she turned to look at me, her eyes reflected so much sadness.
“Can we talk?”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Cullen.”
I scratched the back of my head and watched her continue to water the plants, like she could ignore the entire situation in front of her.
“What we had that night was special. You can’t deny that.”
“It was nothing more than sex.”
“Really? I don’t believe you.”
“Believe it. It’s the truth.” She looked me straight in the eye, but I didn’t miss the wobble of her chin.
“Can we at least explore? Go on dates? No sex, necessary, if you want.”
“No. Please go, Cullen. And don’t come back.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Journey
I hated saying those words,a festering pit of dread in my stomach. They were lies. All lies.
It wasn’t just sex. It never was.
It was truly a special night. It always would be.
I wanted more of him. I always would.
I agreed with everything he said. I never disagreed.
But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let my heart get broken once again.
Even if it was the best sex of my life. Even if I’d never felt like this about a man before.
In the end, the pain was not worth it.
“That’s not possible. My job sends me here all the time. I guess you’ll just have to see me around, then.”
“What don’t you get, Cullen? It was a one-night stand. A one-time thing. Okay?” Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks and I turned away quickly before he could see them. I walked away, past other customers, past the concerning looks from mymother, and didn’t stop. Away from the store, the parking lot, this town, my life, everything. I just kept walking.
“Journey, wait!” Carina called and my shoulders sunk, my tears running down faster. I couldn’t let her see me like this, she wouldn’t understand. But her quick legs got the better of me. “What’s wrong? Is it Lucien?”
Earlier today, Lucien called a family meeting and said he decided to pursue a career in construction, and he joined the new construction crew in town. “I needed something different you know? Get out there and see the world.” Lucien told us. I knew the time would come eventually but our parents couldn’t handle it, Mom in tears and Dad asking a thousand different questions.
So, while I was sad about my brother’s news, I didn’t want Carina to know anything about Cullen. It was easier to pretend it was only Lucian’s news upsetting me, than to tell her about the more pressing issue- my heart, cracked open, another dating disaster for the books.
