Snuggle Puppy
It’s almost four in LA. Why are you up?
Too much coffee?
Snuggle Puppy
Are you pissed about the call earlier? I’m really sorry about that.
No, it was nice to hear your voice. I had a rough night.
Snuggle Puppy
Anything I can do?
I’ll be fine. I just wanted to say goodnight. How was filming?
Snuggle Puppy
I can tell you about it tomorrow night. Get some sleep, Ren.
I’m glad you’re okay. I got a little worried. Call me if you want to.
Goodnight, beautiful.
Goodnight, Chase.
I want to tell him to call me so I could listen to the comfort of his voice again. I’m in pain physically and emotionally, and I’m confused about how I’m supposed to feel about the boy who’s texting me late at night, who worries about me, who I wish was here to hold me when we’re just supposed to be friends.
I cry myself to sleep for the first time in months.
* * *
My alarm goes off far too early, and as I reach for it, I force my arm to straighten out. It takes three tries to stand up from the bed before my knees decide they do, in fact, remember how to behave. When I get to the bathroom, I stare at the tub and shake my head. I won’t be able to climb into it for a shower, so I wet a washcloth instead. The bags under my eyes are dark, and I add a little extra makeup to cover it. Learning how to cover bruises and black eyes has its advantages…I guess.
I get dressed at a snail’s pace before trudging out to the kitchen. To my surprise, Mama sits at the table, my travel mug of coffee there in front of her with steam rising from the lid. I can smell the cinnamon.
“You were up too late. I knew it would be a rough morning, so I wanted to make sure you had time to get something to eat on the way.”
“I told Marta I wouldn’t be in early this morning. Care to join me for breakfast and I’ll drop you off at work?”
“Can we go to the fancy place?” I laugh and nod. Mama’s idea of a fancy place for breakfast is a Taiwanese bakery with case after case of sweet and savory pastries. Mama always loads an entire tray for her co-workers. I’ll admit it’s delicious, but it’s not fancy.
I should take Chase on a date to thefancybakery and see how he reacts.
Mama and I load my papers into the car and, as I’m adjusting my driver’s seat to handle the stiffness, she takes my hand and squeezes it tight.
“Luis’s father wasn’t a nice man either, and he tried to hurt me. It’s why your father turned him in, but we never told Luis about that, or you.” She smiles at me. “I should have listened to my heart and not his son’s lies. I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
“It’s okay, Mama.” I reach over and give her a weak hug, and she rubs my back. “Now, let’s go buy up a shit ton of pastries.”
“Renate, you swear too much!”
“Every damn day, Mama. I love you.
CHAPTER13
MADNESS
