The pin on the map drops near the East Hollywood area—super close. Even with the LA traffic, it should only take me about fifteen minutes to get there, which means I have about an hour before I need to leave and I’m already dressed and waiting. This is worse than prom.
I’m staring in the mirror, and that’s when the doubt creeps in. I examine every wrinkle around my eyes and the way my forehead creases when I’m stressed or angry. I over-analyze the way the suit fits me too tightly in some places. I question the way my face looks since I haven’t shaved. With a deep breath, I stop and center myself, forcing a smile. But it fades as fast as it came.
What if she doesn’t like me or thinks I’m weird? Do I look stupid? What if she finds out that I’m a mess and she decides I’m worth it? What if the paps see us? This is a terrible idea, and it’s going to end badly—publicly. Again.
The walls are closing in and breathing isn’t as easy as a minute ago. I need to get this suit off and to get some air. But I know the suit isn’t the real issue.
What if I hurt her? What if I’m about to ruin her life in the same way I ruined Cassie’s? What if she hates me? So damn many what ifs.
A shuffle by the door followed by Pongo’s nose on my hand and his ninety-pound body leaning against my leg brings me back out of the spiral. As my breathing steadies again, I crouch down and let him lick my face. I take a few deep breaths to pull my head together. I’ve worked hard to learn how to pull myself out of the doom spiral.
“Good boy, buddy. Thank you.”
“Hey man, all good?” Devin asks as he knocks on the door frame and pokes his head inside. “Pongo jumped up and took off, so I wanted to come up and check on you.”
“Thanks, Dev. We’re good. Pongo senses the shift in me before I do a lot of times.”
After Cassie, I lost a couple of gigs because of my depression and panic attacks. I was sick all the time, lost way too much weight, couldn’t even think straight. I admitted I needed help and, lucky for me, I have friends who made sure I got it. A few sessions into therapy, the doc recommended Pongo, a pit bull being trained as a Psychiatric Service dog by a friend of his. The press and public assume I’m another one of those celebrities who gets a dog and takes him everywhere. They had no idea they were a big part of the reason I needed him in the first place. He’s been a literal lifesaver on more than one occasion, and Dev knows that. Not a lot of other people do, and I like to keep it that way.
“Maybe you should take Pongo?”
I scritch behind his ears and kiss his head. “What do you think, Pongo? I don’t think you meet the dress code there, hotshot.” I stand back up and nod to Devin, “It’s alright, I uh, I’m a nervous wreck.”
“You got this, and if you don’t, you got me. I’m headed out to the game, but I’m not starting tonight, so if you need me, call. I’ll be there.”
“I love you, even if you are a dick sometimes and brush your fucking teeth in my kitchen like a caveman.”
“Yeah, yeah. You have to love me, asshole. I’m the baby.” He crosses the room and gives me a hug. We’ve always been close, even if we are eleven years apart. “You look good, man. Go knock ‘em dead, but don’t knock her up. I mean, unless you want to. You do you, but the kid isn’t getting my room. Just saying.”
“You…are so strange, man.”
I finish getting ready and give the dogs their food before I grab my keys. Twenty minutes later, I’m pulling into a parking lot in front of a veterinarian’s office with a Korean restaurant and a fast-food joint at opposite ends. There’s a joke in here, but I’m sure as fuck not touching it with a ten-foot pole. I park and realize the Jaguar sticks out like a sore thumb. Instantly, I feel like a douche and the doubt creeps back in.
She’s sent me here because I’m an idiot and she doesn’t want people to know she’s going out with me. Or she’s standing me up and trying to prove a point. I should have borrowed Jamie’s jeep. She’s a teacher and I’ve seen Dani’s car. I’m overdoing it. As always.
Fuck it. She’smydate, which means she’ll get treated like the fucking queen she is. Assuming she’s even here.
I crack my neck and climb out, looking around and trying to give off a confident bravado. Inside, I’m jello. As I turn back to the car, the door to the vet’s office opens up and there she is. My mouth hangs open, but I can’t get my brain to fire off anything, so I continue staring. She’s fucking gorgeous, and I can’t even tell her that.
She’s wearing a blue, floor-length skirt with two slits damn near all the way up the side. I can’t breathe as I take in the way it hugs her, showing off that ass and those beautiful thighs. She’s wearing a top with fabric criss-crossing over her chest and I can’t stop staring at how amazing it makes her tits look. I havegotto stop staring at them, but holy shit, it’s hard not to. She looks like she’s headed out to accept an Oscar, not to dinner with some dork like me.
“Is this not okay? I read it’s formal attire.”
Her voice brings me back to reality as I pull in the breath I’ve been needing to take for a while now. “I…you…uhm.”
“You know, for a guy who basically talks for a living, you’re not very good at it,” she teases.
I clear my throat as a nervous laugh escapes before I jog to the other side of the car and hold the door open for her. “You look phenomenal, Ren. I mean it.”
“Thanks,” she replies with a confident wink as she ducks into the car, pulling her skirt in so it doesn’t get caught on the door.
“Okay, Chase. DO NOT fuck this up. Do not! Fuck! This! Up!” I mumble to myself as I jog back around and get in. “Sorry if I kept you waiting.”
“I showed up early. My neighbor works as a tech at the veterinarian’s clinic and she let me borrow these shoes. Since I had to pick them up here, I played with the puppies after work. I even brought a change of clothes, just in case.”
“In case of what?”
“You came to your senses and changed your mind. I figured being around puppies would make a satisfactory alternative to the evening if someone stood me up.”
