I roll my eyes and ignore her, hooking the keys around my finger and adjusting my grip on…life.
“He said he was coming back. Please let me introduce you to him,” she begs, batting her eyes like that will win me over somehow. “Oh, and I left those new prints by your desk. Sam’s been waiting on them, but that’s way less important.”
“Sam’s waiting on them, and that’s less important than you getting me to meet some dude? Silva, your priorities are fucked.”
“Uhh, yeah!”
“What dude?” Kennedy asks, not looking up from whatever she’s posting online.
Dani has been determined to find me someone to date. I told her a million times that I wasn’t interested and didn’t have the time. I’ve dated a little on and off since moving here fifteen years ago, but nothing ever lasted past a few dates. I’ve resorted to quick and easy hookups through apps, but that’s rarely ever worth it or satisfying. The people here are far too shallow or next-level creepy; there’s no in-between that I’ve found. Sometimes, I wonder if I even fit into the Los Angeles scene. I still go out for the pointless one-night stand occasionally, and I have a drawer full of electric boyfriends who don’t complain and do a far better job than any real man.
Besides, real guys eventually learn who I am. When they find out I’m the stepdaughter of the preacher for one of the largest evangelical churches in Southern California, shit always goes downhill. Either they’re super turned off by who I am because it must make me a prude—or, worse—they’re super turned on by the idea of fucking me in the church. Some even assume I’m rich.
I’ve never understood the whole religious lifestyle, it’s never fit who I am. When I need to, I can pretend—for my mother’s sake. Also, their church is modern, so there’s no altar or confessional to get kinky and defile. I wouldn’t necessarily say no to a little fun in the church for the right person. Maybe I’ve read too many fanfics.
I don’t even know if evangelicals do the whole confessional thing, and you lose a little bit of the dirty, kinky, fun side of things when it’s just a stage with a podium.
“So can I?” Dani’s voice pulls me out of my inner ramblings.
“What?”
“Can I introduce you to him? Come on, he’s really cute. You sure you’re okay?”
“She’s busy daydreaming about the guy who was drooling all over her; we’ll need a bucket and a mop if they ever meet again,” Kennedy cracked. “Actually, I may go back there because I would climb that man like a fucking tree.”
“Kennedy, there aren’t many men in Los Angeles you wouldn’t climb,” I hit back.
“Rude. I have limits!”
“Yeah, but have you actually found any of them yet?” Dani cackles at her joke so hard she flops back down into her chair. “So, tell me about this mystery man!”
I nod toward the pretty box with the bow on her desk, still trying to ignore her. “Please tell me it’s not your birthday, and I forgot, and if it is, take this cookie as a down payment on a real birthday present. Actually, take it either way since it’s for you.”
“Not my birthday, but yes, please!” She snags the bag with the cookie and holds up the pastry box. “This is what I’m trying to set you up with, girl!”
“An empty pastry box?”
“No, the delicious man who delivers the hot pastries! Wait…you know what I mean!”
“So he’s an Uber Eats driver? Less hot,” Kennedy deadpans.
“He’s not an Uber Eats driver, you moron. He still brings me delicious pastries when he comes by, and we’re just friends.” She dramatically clutches the box to her chest. “Like, what would he do for someone he was banging? He probably eats pu?—”
“I don’t want a guy who buys gifts foryou,” Kennedy points out as she sips her iced coffee. “Wait, is he rich? I could make an exception.”
“Shut up, Kennedy.” Dani rolls her eyes, then cackles again. “Shit! In thirty seconds, we found two boundaries you actually do have!”
“Whatever. I don’t know why you’re wasting your time trying to hook her up.” Kennedy flips her hair annoyingly. “Don’t you, like, have to marry Jesus or some guy your mom picks out for you or something?”
“I…what? What the fuck does that even mean?” I ask, shaking my head. Seriously, I need this girl to cut way down on the caffeine. She found some flyers I made for my mother on the copy machine a week ago and hasn’t let it go since.
“Wait, does all this mean you’re a virgin or, like, you were born again or something? I thought you made out with that guy at that party?”
“Kennedy, how are you actually this dumb?” Dani asks as I continue to stare, dumbfounded by the stupidity.
“Although I saw your stepdad on TV the other day. More like stepDaddy! Right?” She makes a terrible growling noise and moves her hand to mimic a big cat’s paw. “There’s another man I’d climb like a tree.”
“Inappropriate, Kennedy!” Dani balls up a piece of paper and throws it at her. “To be fair, even Jesus would approve of the photographer you desperately need to meet.”
