Noah licks his lips, staring at me like I’m a slab of meat being served up to him. Ronnie releases my shoulders and the pair of them walk out of the room. I glance around the room, aware that people witnessed what had just happened. Conveniently, they all seem to be busy and unable to make eye contact with me. The few who look at me have a jaded happiness in their stares, as if what happened was normal. So I drop my head and bite the inside of my cheek to fight the tears. I say nothing, and as the meeting wraps up, my mother marches over to where I’m packing up my things. She fists the collar of her sweater closely against her neck as she talks to me.
“We’ll be very disappointed in you if you try to avoid the trip. It’s all for your own good.” She turns to leave and then glances over her shoulder. “Come on, it will be easier for all of us to get this over with now.”
I can’t even respond before she’s marching the other way. I look around the room, noticing everyone has left. I scoop up the last of my things and shove them into my bag. I can straighten it all out in the car later. I’m still confused, but even my false sense of safety has vanished. I pull my phone out, planning to text my mother that I can’t stay for dinner once I’m in the car. I’m practically running out the door when I nearly trample right over poor old Ms. Harper.
“Oh, excuse me dear. I forgot my reading glasses on the chair.”
“No, it was my fault. I was in a hurry and not paying attention to where I was going.” She can’t possibly know how happy I am to see her. “I’ll wait and walk you out. It’s late. I wouldn’t want you out there in the dark on your own.”
“You’re such a sweet girl, and so good to your parents.” She picks up her glasses and stuffs them into a tattered purse. This woman can barely afford food, but somehow my parents have convinced her to give all her money to the church. It’s sick. “And that Noah! Oh, he’s a fine young man. I’d envy you if I were still in my younger years. This must be so exciting for you. We’ve all prayed for this day.”
“Yeah, exciting, that’s one word for it,” I mumble as we continue walking out to the parking lot.
“Thank you for walking me out, dear. Now, make sure you come see me at the house before you move. I have some nice dishes that I was hoping to pass down to my daughter someday for her wedding, but she said she didn’t need them.”
“Move?”
“Oh, I’m rushing things, aren’t I? I’m just giddy for a wedding, is all. You’ll be so lovely, dear.” She slaps my arm a little harder than I would have thought she could. “I’ll make sure to pack up those dishes so they don’t break. You send Noah by anytime, dear. Don’t come yourself. We can’t have you lifting in your condition.”
The second I’m in the car, I lock the doors and start the engine. I don’t even take the time to buckle my seatbelt before I’m pulling away, desperate for a large crowd of people. I don’t stop until I’m miles away, parking at a nearby mall.
I close my eyes and take several deep breaths, fighting back the panic. It takes about ten minutes before I get myself together and I’m not about to burst into tears. It’s not surprising to me when I think about it. That’s the terrifying part. My phone hasn’t stopped buzzing in my bag the entire way here, and I check my mirrors to make sure my mother hasn’t followed me. When I unlock my phone, I find four missed calls and a long string of texts from her, along with a few from my stepfather.
Another name appears on the voicemail list, and my heart leaps.
New Voicemail from James
I press the button and close my eyes.
“Hey Cherry Blossom, I hope your meeting went well. I wanted to check in on you, so if you don’t mind letting me know when you’re safe and at home, I’d appreciate it. That probably sounds cheesy, but I’ve been worried about you since we left this afternoon. Is it weird that I miss you already? Yeah, probably. Ignore my dumb ass. Sorry. I’ll talk to you later, beautiful.”
I listen two more times. His calm voice helps me come down from stress and panic. I understand now what he meant when he said he craved me, because right now I crave him and the reassurance he brings me. I want to call him, but I can’t. This isn’t his problem to deal with, it’s mine.
I turn the phone off and head home.
I’m just slipping my key into the door when someone down the hall calls my name. I smile, hoping it’s enough, but he’s still staring at me.
“You got a delivery earlier, and I brought it in here for safekeeping. Let me go grab it.”
He’s tall with salt and pepper hair and a friendly smile. He moved in about a year ago and we haven’t interacted beyond polite hellos, so I’m not sure what to expect. I think he’s a doctor of some sort, but he bakes a lot and it always smells delicious near his apartment. Once, after a fight with my mother, I found a small box outside my door with the most delicious eclairs I’ve ever tasted. I wonder how much he’s heard from the last few days with James.
He comes out of his apartment with a giant bouquet of pink and white flowers and a card. Carefully holding the base, I almost drop it while opening the card—I need to stop juggling so much. My neighbor is nice enough to hold the flowers again while I read the card. I know who Ihopesent them, but today I need to be certain.
Angel-
You never told me your favorite flowers the other day. These are as close as I can get to cherry blossoms, soI hope they’re okay.
-JB
“Thank you, uhm?—”
“Dr. Clay. You can call me Theo. Nice to actually meet you.” His smile is warm and friendly, and I wonder if he’s a pediatrician or someone who works with kids a lot. “Do you need a hand with these?”
“No, I can get them from here.” He nods and watches me walk back to my door. Before I reach for the handle, I turn back around. “Oh, uhm, thanks for the pastries a while back. They were delicious.”
“No problem, I hope it wasn’t too weird or forward of me. I’ll make sure I drop more off next time I’m up doing an all night bake-a-thon.”
Closing my apartment door, I’m finally met with silence. It’s weird now, empty. I feel that way when Bex visits town randomly, stays briefly, and leaves too soon. I look at the clock, surprised to see it’s already after midnight. I must have sat in the mall parking lot longer than I thought.
