“Hey, hey, Angel. What’s the matter?” I shift over, so I’m sitting behind her just as her shoulders start to shake. “Alexis, sweetheart, talk to me, please?”
She sniffles and jumps a little when I put my arm around her, my hand across her belly. I nuzzle against her head, trying to help her, but she shakes her head, “You probably think I’m some kind of freak.”
“Because you have a vibrator?”
“Because I’m boring! I’m in my thirties and all I’ve ever had is okay vanilla sex. I know everyone thinks I’m wild and fun, but I’m not. I mean I don’t know if I am. I’m just…just…I’ve never had—” She takes a big breath. “You’re the first guy I’ve even brought into my own bed, James.”
“Alexis, can I ask you something?” She shrugs and nods. “Do you trust me?”
“I…yeah.”
“No, I need to know that you trust me. If you don’t, then we need to start there, not here. So, do you trust me?”
“Yes, James. I trust you.”
“You don’t have to be so formal, Angel. Jamie is fine,” I offer, kissing across her shoulders and sliding the straps down her arms. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. All you need to do is relax and I’ll take care of you. If you’re not comfortable, we take it slow and find your boundaries. If you don’t want to do anything else tonight, that’s fine too. You’re not boring. You could never be boring.”
I should have known better. There’s no way she would risk really letting herself go with just anyone, not with her helicopter mother lingering around. It’s why she’s wild and free at the clubs, and reserved here in her own home. My gut tells me there’s more, though, and I shiver at the thought of how much more we still have to uncover. Both of us.
I have an idea.
“Stay here, okay?” I say between kisses along her neck.
I wait for her to nod, and then I climb off the bed and pull on my boxers. I head for the bathroom and search for something I’d spotted earlier. There’s a small basket with snowmen and Christmas decorations, and inside are a handful of bottles and bath bombs she’s never touched. I grin at the bottle of bubble bath; I’ve never been happier that someone has a clawfoot tub in their apartment. I pop the cap open and immediately my head is swimming in cherry blossoms. Perfect. Then, I rush to the living room, gathering all the candles and a box of matches. I’m about to check the fridge, but stop and swear under my breath when I remember it’s empty.
“Where’s your favorite place to eat?” I ask, heading back into the bedroom. I do the math and figure I should still have a little wiggle room on one of my credit cards. This isn’t work, and I’m not having Sam pay for this.
She gazes motionless at the candles, then at my outstretched hand.
“Sweetheart, tonight—and every night hereafter—you’re a goddess and I’m going to take care of you like one. We’ll move at your pace. We’ll only try new things after we’ve discussed them, and the second you change your mind, we stop.”
She continues to stare at my hand. “Why are you still here? I’ve yelled at you, you’ve met my mother…why aren’t you running away?”
“Rent,” I answer and she stares up at me, confused. “Your baggage goes with mine.” I see the recognition to the play’s reference and crouch in front of her. “Angel, I’m not trying to pressure you into anything. If this is a one-night thing, that’s fine, and I’m going to do my damndest to make it a good one-night thing if you’ll let me. But to be really honest with you, I’m kind of hoping we get at least a few nights before you tell me to get lost. Maybe even longer if I’m lucky enough and don’t fuck this up beyond repair.”
She blinks at me as she sits there. “Why me? You’re too hot and too smart to be with someone like me.”
“Someone like you?” I frown, trying to keep down the anger. How badly has her mother fucked her up? “You are bold and brilliant, the most amazing person I’ve ever met before. You’re also captivatingly gorgeous and?—”
“No, I’m…none of those things.”
I swallow hard. “Why do I want you? Because something inside you has set me on fire. Something that makes my heart skip a beat and my knees get weak when you smile at me. I don’t just want you, Alexis, I fucking crave you. To touch you and be near you. To hear your voice and your laughter.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, put the candles in her lap, and scoop her up as she squeals. “I’m also about to flood your bathroom out if we don’t get back in there.”
I put her down and turn off the water before I slip the dress off her shoulders and let it pool around her feet. Stepping back, I take her in. Each time she tries to cover herself, I move her hand away affectionately. Licking my lips, I hoist her up onto the counter and hold her face. Our mouths slot together and we kiss until we’re breathing for each other. I lift her again and carry her to the tub, letting her get accustomed to the water while she giggles over the bubble bath. I light the candles and turn off the bright fluorescent lights, then kneel by the edge of the tub.
“Tilt your head back. I’ll wash the sand out of your hair.” She closes her eyes. I gently take her hair down and let it fall into the water. “You look like a mermaid.”
“Are you really going to wash my hair?”
“Every opportunity I get, my Angel.”
When I’m done, she scoots forward and pats the water behind her. She looks away and blushes as I slip my boxers off and climb in, careful not to splash the water over the edges. I leaned back, taking her with me, and once we were comfortable, I move my hand between her legs while the other cups her breasts. I leave trails of kisses over her shoulders, and trace my finger up and down her slit, teasing her playfully. The anticipation has her heart racing so hard I feel it.
“I’ve been going about this wrong, Angel. How about you tell me what you have done instead of all the things you haven’t? Show me where the starting line is, where you’re comfortable, so I can carry you well past it if you’ll let me.”
“I can’t concentrate with your hand…down there.” She laughs and takes a sharp breath as the tip of my finger glides through her folds. “I, uhm, I’m not a virgin, if you’re worried about that. I’ve had a few partners in the past—men and women. I’m not a total prude. I just, it’s always been a quick fuck in a bathroom or car, sometimes back at their place. I haven’t even had or wanted any long-term relationships since high school, really.”
“Because of your mom.”
