“Alexis, anyone who thinks you’re not the most intelligent, fun, stunning, incredibly talented, most amazing person they’ve ever met is lying.” I’m blushing; I can feel it. “I know that sounds stupid and desperate because I’ve known you for barely a day, but I don’t care.”
“It doesn’t sound stupid, I’m just… I’m not those things.”
“You are. Those things and so much more, and I wish you could see how incredible you are—how I see you.”
“James.”
I drop my head and close my eyes. I think I’ve run out of ideas and steam. “Thanks for not throwing the coffee in my face or calling me creepy.”
“Why would I waste perfectly good coffee messing up a perfectly good face?” Her half smile makes the butterflies start a Conga line in my stomach. “So, you’re not upset? About not wanting to, you know, go out or whatever?”
I shake my head, knowing that if I talk, my voice will betray me.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just, there’s a lot of chaos in my life right now.”
“I get it. I’ve got a lot of baggage and no trunk to store it in.” This is the part where I’d make a joke and walk away. Letting go early is less painful than dragging out something that won’t go anywhere. But I can’t do it this time. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Why did you say you’re not the girl for me instead of saying you’re not interested in me?” My hand is so close to hers I can feel the sparks that snap between us, and I want to know why she can’t or won’t. For once, I feel like this is one to fight for, one to push at least a little to see if I can break through those walls. “It’s like you’re afraid you’ll disappoint me, or yourself.”
“I…I don’t know, really. I mean, I guess I just don’t think it would be a great idea since we work together and everything. I don’t really date.” She picks at the edge of the table, a nervous habit. “I get what you mean about the baggage. Not many guys stick around for long when they finally see mine.”
I can’t help but think that her mess and my mess would make the most beautiful art. I think back to the studio for the first time in months, and I can’t fight the urge to bring her there. To sketch her, then strip her naked and take my time worshiping every inch of her. I want her covered in paint and moaning my name while her fingers play in my hair. I want to tear apart every piece of her armor and find the soft angel hiding inside.
“Don’t shut the door.”
“What?”
“Leave the door open. When we’re done working together, no strings attached, no expectations, and only when and if you want to, I’ll take you out. Then we can try to convince each other that we’d be terrible together.” My finger slides along hers, and she doesn’t pull away. “I’m not afraid of your baggage, Lexi. If you can get past that, please let me carry it for you, even if just for a little while.”
“How about we order some food, get high, get through today, and leave it at maybe?” She takes out the baggie of edibles again and tosses them on the table with a smirk.
“Deal.”
CHAPTER15
SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
MALIA J
The conference bustleswith crowds and noise, just as we expected. We spend most of the day taking reference pictures, collecting more postcards and free trinkets than I’ve ever seen, and occasionally ducking into a panel to check out the presentations. It’s less about what’s being presented and more about how. The company we’re working for is young, but it has a lot of potential. They don’t want the same old shit people have done over the years; they want to break molds. Of course, every company says that, so how broken those molds get remains to be seen.
I was worried our conversation over breakfast would make things weird, but Lexi got back to feeling like herself again and I pulled myself out of my spiral. There was a little banter, some harmless flirting, and by the time the day was over, I knew that no matter how this went between us, I was madly in love with her. It’s the dreamer artist in me; I fall fast and hard. I only hope that this time, I can get a softer landing than usual.
I keep getting harassing text messages until I eventually turn off my phone. Blocking the number doesn’t matter, she just text from another number; they’re all burner phones or computer systems anyhow. Lexi has noticed, but so far, she hasn’t brought it up. I’d rather not bring more drama to the day.
We leave well after dark, and the drive back takes us no time since rush hour has long ended. There’s an open spot up the street from her building, so I pull in, jump out and run around to the other side to open her door for her.
“You really don’t have to do that, you know.”
“I most certainly do.” I reach behind the seat and pull out her bag and the oversized tote full of random things we collected throughout the day. Our hands brush together as I hand it to her, and she hesitates for a minute.
“Do, uhm, do you want to come upstairs and go through the shots from today? You don’t have to. I still have all this energy and, ugh, never mind. I’ll start going through this bag of crap and organizing everything. I’m sure you have better things to do.”
“If you’re okay with me coming up, getting a little deeper into the project sounds fantastic.” I would take any excuse to spend extra time with her, even though I’m making this harder on myself. “I’m a night owl, so I was planning on heading home and looking through the shots anyhow. Having company wouldn’t suck.”
“Yeah?” She tucks her hair behind her ear, her smile beaming in the glow of the streetlamp.
