I headed inside to talk to Nate. He was stuffing clothes into his bag, and he stiffened as I closed the door behind me.
“Nate, are you sure you’re okay?” I asked.
He froze, then sighed. “Cam, there’s no time for this. We’ve got to get you going.”
“Dammit, Nate. This is about you. Of course there’s time.”
“It’s about you, too,” he said, turning to look at me. “You can’t make this all about me. I’m just a lone wolf. You’re the one whose life is in danger. Whose whole life has been turned upside down.”
Deciding to come right out with it, I said, “Are you really serious about asking to join the pack?”
Straightening up, he took a few long moments before answering. “Maybe… shit, I don’t know. Possibly.”
“That doesn’t sound very definitive,” I said. “I’d like to know for sure before I leave.”
Something about what I said must have broken something inside him. He tossed his bag down. “Cameron, I can’t be definitive, okay? I just can’t. This isn’t a decision that belongs to me. It’s all up to this alpha. There’s no way to know for sure if he’ll say yes.” He let his arms fall to his sides, emotional exhaustion evident on his face and body language. “Do you have any idea how scary this is for me? The idea of putting myself out there?”
“I get it,” I said, my voice soft, almost a whisper. “This is a big deal.”
He nodded and bent to pick up his bag again. “I told you I’d try, and I keep my promises, but I need a couple days to work up the courage.” He shot a worried look in my direction. “Can you give me a few days?”
“Sure,” I said, but at the back of my mind, I worried that he might take flight. Run off to the safety of the road.
At that thought, a surprising sensation filled me—my inner wolf whining sadly. The noise of it was so heartbroken and intense that I almost looked around to see if a physical wolf was actually there with me. Yet another thing I’d have to get used to.
“Come on,” Nate said, moving toward the door. “Let's get you on the road.”
As he passed, I reached out and grabbed his sleeve. “Come with us.”
“What?” He turned, brow furrowed, his hand on the doorknob.
“You heard me. Come with us now. You don’t need a few days to think it over. Come with me and Ollie. Ask to join now. With me and Ollie there to vouch for you, JC can’t say no.”
He reached up and took my hand off his sleeve, gently but firmly. “No.”
My shoulders sagged. “Why not?”
He opened the door, the cool air outside sliding in, breezing across my skin. “The most important thing is you, Cameron. We need you safe, we need you accepted into the pack, and we need to make sure JC understands exactly what’s going on. I come second.” He squeezed my hand. “And I do need time. Like I said, a couple days.”
I wanted to argue. There was something in his eyes that, no matter what he said, told me he wasn’t sold on the idea. Would I see him again? Was this possibly the last time I might see him? My stomach twisted, but further argument would get me nowhere. I had to have faith.
He nodded to Ollie. “See you someday soon, old friend. I’ll, uh, I’ll call you in a few days to check on how things are going.”
“Yup,” Ollie said, lifting a hand to wave. “Be careful out there, Nate.”
Ollie must have heard our conversation. He gave us both a strange look and even opened his mouth to say something else, but closed it before he spoke.
Nate threw me one last glance, then jammed his helmet on his head and started his bike. Looking over his shoulder, he locked his eyes on me.
“See you soon,” he said, then drove off.
I truly wished I could believe that, but a squirmy, incessant, and insecure part of my mind screamed out that I’d never see him again. Another whine emanated from my mind, my inner wolf twisting herself up with anxiety and grief.
As the first few drops of rain began to patter down on top of us, I watched Nate vanish around the corner, and I couldn’t help but feel like a piece of me was going with him. Some string that bound us together pulled thinner and thinner the farther he went.
When he fully vanished from sight down the campground driveway, it seemed to snap, and a pit of despair opened in my stomach. Deep in my mind, my inner wolf howled a mournful, heartbroken cry.
30
