“I am wearing that?” These are the first words I have spoken since leaving the house. “It’s see-through.”
“Your body must be cleansed, and the Divine needs to see it happen.”
“What does that even mean?” She goes to talk, but I hold up my hand. “I don’t need to know.” I gulp down the anxiety building in my chest.
My breaths become shaky, and I start to look at anything and everything in the room to distract me while she pulls the garment over my head. The fabric lies on my skin like a whisper of a feather. Barely there, barely anything.
She turns me to face the tall full-length mirror behind me. I have no other option but to look at my reflection.
Dewy skin and wet hair. The dress enhances the curves of my waist and hips. I have to stop from covering the top of my body, as I can see the outline and detail of each of my nipples through the sheer white dress.
Is it even a dress at this point? I can see my whole body bare.
Bile rises in my throat as I think of how I will have to walk into the viewing hall in front of not only every man in this community but Samuel, too. My body shudders with my labored breathing.
“Miss?” Her hand lands on my shoulder, but I shrug her off.
“I just need a moment,” I say as the room fades around the edges of my vision.
I can’t get a good breath into my lungs.
“It is time, miss.”
Her words are gentle but worried.
I keep my eyes on my trembling hands, clenching them into a fist and taking a massive breath. After holding it intomy lungs, I let it out slowly before returning to my reflection. “Okay.”
My psyche snaps. My face falls flat as I look at myself. Nothingness falls over me, and I know this is the only way I can get through this.
I pivot and take my steps to the door.
Abigail goes to open the door but pauses, with her hand hanging just above the knob. She turns to look me in the eye for the first time since I entered this room. Her mouth opens only slightly before it snaps closed. Her eyes are full of empathy and apologies I don’t understand. She looks away and shakes her head to stop her lips from telling me what she is choking down. The cold breeze basks over me, and my whole body shivers. The thin, sheer fabric clinging to my skin does nothing to help warm me.
I take a shaky step. My bare foot lands on the hardwood with a creak.
My eyes tunnel down the hallway as I take another step toward a future I have no control over.
39
Kameron
I’m tapping the top of my leg as I watch everyone take their seats in the viewing hall. It’s similar to the one that my induction was held in but smaller. That probably has to do with the fact that only the men are allowed in this one. This is what they claimed to be the bride’s cleansing ceremony, where the Divine blesses the bride by washing away their sins from the inside out.
My eyes have been trying to avoid the small cleared area at the front of the room where what looks like a marble island is centered. Hanging lights reflect off its surface, mocking me with its presence. I have no clue what this all entails, but with the way they have this whole place closed off from everyone but the men, makes my gut sink with what it could be.
Some men stand in the aisles, talking about how they are looking forward to watching this one because it’s the daughter of Mr. Donovan.
“She has been kept from us for too long. And to now be Samuel’s Chosen?”
They give each other pointed looks before one adds, “I thought for sure Mr. Donovan was going to take her as his own, but his own son this whole time?”
A small snicker cuts through the conversation.
I try to keep my composure, but their underhand tones only enhance my gut feeling about all of this.
She isn’t Samuel’s to have. She is mine.
I abruptly leave my seat, my mind and body knowing exactly what to do and where I’m going.
