Page 12 of Finding Secrets


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“Mother,” he says as he turns around and squeezes me tightly to him, like he is protecting me from her mean-looking eyes.

“Where do you think you are going? You just got home with your father.” She stands very still in the doorway to the dining room. “And you are taking the girl?”

“Eden. Her name is Eden, Mother. It’s been a year. You really need to start addressing her as so.”

I avoid alone time with Mrs. Donovan, and I think she does the same. She pretends only in front of people like when she smiles and gives me a hug from the side. I don’t hold it against her. Maybe she was always like this because I don’t think she is close to Samuel, either.

“I apologize.” She looks at Samuel’s arms wrapped around my shoulders. Snapping back to Samuel’s face, she adds, “Don’t be gone long. She shouldn’t be out late.”

“I am with her. She is fine.”

She turns and walks away.

I look up at Samuel. “Why shouldn’t I be out late?”

“’Cause you’re a girl. It’s not safe out there for a pretty thing like you.” He boops my nose and kisses it. “But don’t worry. I’m with you, so you’re safe.”

He gives me a firm squeeze. He isn’t wrong. I am safe with him. He is the only one I felt like that with in my life.

We go to the garage on the side of the large U-shaped driveway.

Samuel guides me to the car and opens the passenger door for me. “Ladies first?” he says in a fake English accent, but it doesn’t sound right. He helps me into my seat and walks to take the driver’s seat after. His blacked-out BMW roars to life, and he gives me a playful grin before we roll backward.

“Are you ready for the ride of your life?” He wags his eyebrows up and down, and I giggle. Then he pushes the garage clicker on his sun visor.

He watches out the rearview mirror, making sure the garage is fully closed. He knows how much it bothers our father when he leaves it open.

His eyes are still on the garage door when he ruffles my hair. “You know you aren’t supposed to drive recklessly.”

“We can be a little reckless together. Can’t we?” His eyes shoot to me and flicker with something I don’t know how to describe.

Playful is the only word that comes to mind, and it makes me giggle even more nervously.

I look over his shoulder to the front of the house to collect my thoughts. My smile fades as I see Mrs. Donovanstanding at the dining-room window. Her arms tightly wound, holding herself. Her eyes look straight at me, then dart to Samuel, before coming back to me.

Samuel’s hand is still on my thigh, and the feeling of disapproval and disgust hits my stomach. The barely noticeable shake of her head is all she does before she walks away. The small gesture jabs me in the chest.

I face the passenger window, trying to struggle off Samuel’s hand, but he only grips tighter.

“Let’s go get those snacks so we can watch that movie together?” he says as we drive down the gravel driveway.

I keep my focus on the trees darting by as we leave our home behind.

Mrs. Donovan’s eyes still stare at me every time I blink.

6

Eden

Age12

Iwalk into the vast, empty kitchen, starving for a sweet treat. Gummy bears are what my brain is telling me I need right now. I stayed home from school today because of a horrible stomachache, and the gummy sweets are probably a horrible idea, but my mind just couldn’t get them off my brain.

I push through other items on the pantry shelves in search of the snacks Samuel loves to keep for me.

“Where the freak are you?” I huff under my breath as I dig deeper behind the packs of roasted almonds Mrs. Donovan eats like they are supposed to bring her closer to the Divine with each handful.

“Where arewho?” a deep voice booms behind me, echoing in the closed space of the pantry.