“I didn’t see her either. I’m at fault too, we both are.” Jake held him close, then spotted Ryan’s phone glinting in the light, by the side of the road.
“I killed her!Oh no oh no… what did I do?” Ryan wept and permitted himself to be held, and Jake’s thoughts raced ahead. He’d call 911, but if he told the police that Ryan had been at the wheel, Ryan could get a criminal record, since he’d been driving after hours on a learner’s permit. It would jeopardize his college admissions, basketball scholarships, everything. And Pam would never forgive him for letting Ryan drive or letting this happen. The open secret of their marriage was that his wife loved their son more than she loved him. Jake reached a decision.
“Ryan, listen to me. We need to call the police, but we can’t tell them the truth. We’re going to tell them that I was driving, not you. Got it? We’ll say I was the driver, and you were the passenger.”
“No, no…Idid it…I killed that lady… she’sdead!” Ryan sobbed harder, his broad chest heaving. Tears poured down his cheeks. His nose ran freely, his mucus streaming.
“Ryan, look at me. Look at me.” Jake put his hands on his son’s tearstained face. They had to get the story straight before they called the police. They had no time to lose. A car could come along any minute. “I need you to listen to me.”
“I killed her!” Ryan kept shaking his head, hiccuping with sobs. “Dad—”
“Ryan, listen, try to calm down—”
“I can’t, I can’t!” Ryan shook his head back and forth, almost manically, out of control. “I killed her, I killed her!”
“Ryan, listen!” Jake shouted, only because Ryan was becoming hysterical. “We’re going to tell the police I was driving the car, do you understand? I was driving the car and you were the passenger. Got it? I’ll do all the talking, you keep quiet. You can do that, can’t you?”
“No, no, no, I…killed her!” Ryan shouted back, his words indistinct, his tears and mucus flowing.
“Ryan, stop. We’re going to tell the copsIkilled her. Do you hear me? Youcannotcontradict me, no matter what they ask you. I’ll do the talking, you keep your mouth shut.”
“Dad… no!” Ryan lurched out of his arms, scrambled backwards, and staggered to his feet, shaking his head. “No, no, Dad. No!”
“Yes, do what I say, it’s the only way.” Jake got to his feet, hustled to the phone, and picked it up to call 911.
“No, no, wait… look. Wait.” Ryan plunged his hand into his pocket, pulled out a plastic Ziploc bag, and showed it to Jake, sobbing. “Dad… I… bought this… today. What do I do with it… when the cops come?”
“What is it?”
“I’m sorry… it’s weed… I’m sorry—”
“What?” Jake asked, aghast.
“I smoked up… with Caleb… after practice.” Ryan wept, his hand flying to his hair, rubbing it back and forth. “But I’m not… high now, I swear it… I’m not, I’m not.”
“Yousmoke dope? Sincewhen?”
“I don’t do a lot… I swear. I did it today… but I’m fine now… that’s not why I hit the lady—”
“Give me that!” Jake grabbed the bag from Ryan’s hand. It was a quarter full of marijuana.
“I killed that lady… she’s dead!” Ryan dissolved into tears, holding his head, falling to his knees. He rocked on his haunches, back and forth, becoming hysterical. “She’s dead… because of me… Dad, what do we do? I killed her… I killed her… I killed her!”
Jake had to make a split-second decision, wrestling with his conscience. A woman was dead, horribly, but that couldn’t be changed. If Jake called the police and told them the truth, then two lives would be destroyed—hers and Ryan’s. And Ryan was too distraught to maintain any lie to the police. Even if Jake tried to claim that he himself had been driving the car, the cops would question them both. He couldn’t be sure Ryan wouldn’t blurt out the truth about who was driving, and if Ryan did, the cops would test him and find marijuana in his blood. They would convict him of driving under the influence and vehicular homicide. He would go to jail. There would be no college, no future, no nothing. Ryan’s entire life would be ruined—and all because Jake had let him drive.
Jake’s mouth went dry. He couldn’t bring himself to look back at the poor woman lying off the road, lifeless. He had no more time to ponder. He was a family man, and he’d lived his whole life being good, moral, and honest. He’d never broken the law in any way. So he knew he was making the absolute worst decision of his life when he stuffed the cell phone and Ziploc bag into his pocket, grabbed Ryan by his coat, and pulled him to his feet.
“Get back in the car, son,” Jake said, grimly. “Hurry.”
Chapter Three
Jake entered the kitchen to face his wife ahead of Ryan, according to plan. He felt sick to his stomach with guilt and horrified at what they had done. All he could think about was the dead woman, but he had to keep it together for Ryan’s sake, to get past Pam. He’d been able to wipe the blood off his face and hands in the car, and he’d hidden his blood-stained parka in the garage. Pam wouldn’t think it was strange that he didn’t have a coat on because he often left it in the car, since their garage was attached. On the way home, Jake had pulled over and quieted his weeping son, even as he’d laid down the law.
Ryan, don’t tell Mom. Never, ever.
I… never ever would. Are you… insane?
I mean it. No matter what. You know what she’d do. She’d have to.
