“You’re supposed to tell me not to do this. How am I going to make good life choices if you don’t tell me to act right?”
“Love blossoms in weird places.”
Love blossoms in weird places?!This was the same woman who’d told the dancers in her company that emotion was an unforgivable distraction.
“I saw that picture of you in the Love Tunnel,” Lillian said. “She didn’t need to kiss you to get that picture. I thought you two were just looking at each other. She kissed you because she wanted to kiss you.”
Kia’s heart thrummed with hope. If prima ballerina Lillian Jackson could leave a life of brutal, lonely discipline, maybe Sullivan would fall desperately in love with Kia… until Mega Eats took everything she had or until Kia’s loggers felled the first tree.
“Do you want to sleep with her?” Lillian asked.
Kia should be thinking about the injunction, or her deposition responses, or her testimony. If not that, she should at least be inventing a tursnicken redux. She wasn’t.
“Yes!” Kia took a sip of beer and lowered her voice.
The two women gossiping at the next table looked like they’d enjoy hearing about her romantic predicament, but Kia didn’t need to broadcast that part of her life.
“But I don’t know what I’m doing. I mean about sex. Sullivan’s good at everything, and she’s slept with men and women. She’s going to have standards.”
Before meeting Izzy, Lillian was queen of one-night stands, and she’d had a lot of nights. When Kia was with Gretchen, Kia had never asked for advice. Lillian could have handed her the secret to mind-blowing sapphic sex and Gretchen would have said,Did you see whatWiredmagazine said about AI-based algorithms?
“What do I do, Lillian?”
“You be honest and you communicate.”
Kia could not just pour Sullivan a cup of coffee and say,I’ve been thinking about our rules, and I wondered if you’d like to break them and have sex with me. No. Their relationship was already too much like a business deal. Sullivan deserved romance. Kia could sprinkle rose petals on Sullivan’s bed. No, she’d better use an invasive flower that looked beautiful on your lover’s bed but was bad for the forest ecosystem. Then even if Sullivan didn’t appreciate the romantic gesture, she’d appreciate that Kia had cleared a few feet of destructive flora.
“You let her know that you like her. You could tell her you’re nervous about having sex.”
“That’s very emotionally intelligent, but what do Ido? Her last girlfriend was all about their image and not their real relationship. I want her to know I’m not like that. I want her to feel special.”I want her to feel loved.
“Plan a date for her, something you know she’ll like.”
“But we already have to go on dates for social media and thislawsuit.”
“Turn off your phone and relax,” Lillian said.
“Isn’trelaxation the gateway to failure?”
Lillian was so mellowed by love she just smiled. Kia was pretty sure aliens had abducted her cousin and reprogrammed her brain. At least alien Lillian was happy.
“If you think she’s special, she’ll feel that. If she likes you, she’ll like whatever you do for her.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?”
“Does the way she’s acting say she doesn’t like you?”
“No.”
But just because things were looking good today didn’t mean that disaster wasn’t around the corner.
“Just let her know how you feel. And, Kia?” Lillian hesitated. “Make sure you do really like her. If she likes you, and you leave… you’ll have put her through a lot. But if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Look at your dad’s boat. Believe in serendipity.”
Sullivan sat on her bed and slipped off her work shoes. It was late. It had been a long night but a good one. Mirepoix was bustling, and absolutely everyone loved their meals. Blake had forgotten half the garnishes, but at least he hadn’t been on his phone.
She hadn’t seen much of Kia since their kiss. It wasn’t unusual. Kia was often out of the house before Sullivan woke up and in her bedroom when Sullivan got back from work. The past week, Kia had been on a late-night street food kick, eating from every food truck she could find at two in the morning and live streaming mini interviews with the food truck owners. Still, it felt deliberate. And Sullivan wasn’t sure if she minded. They both knew the kiss didn’t—couldn’t—mean anything. The next time they passed in the kitchen, Sullivan making coffee, Kia bent over her laptop, herspine curved like a shrimp, they’d have to recognize the truth. It was a sweet kiss, and nothing more could happen, no matter how much they both wanted it.
She hadn’t told Opal or Nina she and Kia had actually kissed in the Love Tunnel. She wanted to keep that detail to herself for a little while. Before Opal’s reflexive attempt to set her up reminded her ironically of how impossible it would be to be with Kia. Before Nina said something sarcastic about love. She just wanted a day or two to savor the memory as though she were sixteen and Kia was her first girlfriend, and they actually thought the Love Tunnel was romantic.
