That was absolutely not true. If her father was going to lie to cheer her up, he really should find some more realistic lies. Maybe he should spend some time with Nina. Sullivan wasn’t going to tease her again. Sullivan wasn’t going to give her shit about her tursnicken and then add that Kia was the best chef she’d ever met. And asking Sullivan to go back to their sweet new way of being… that wasn’t fair, not after the hell Kia had rained down on her. Somewhere in the back of Kia’s mind, a reasonable voice said that all was not lost. Couples went through hard times. People forgave each other. But that voice was drowned out by the rest of her heart and soul weeping over the real possibility that she and Sullivan were over.
chapter 34
Sullivan sat infront of her one-person tent unwillingly listening to Journey played from a nearby SUV parked on the sand. If you wanted a good campsite in the spring or summer, you reserved it in February or you backpacked a long day into the forest, which is why Sullivan ended up on the side of a lake watching motorboats trying to whip around fast enough to make the water-skiers they were towing fall over in a chaos of waves from the wake. It was apparently a consensual act as were the ATV races taking place on the sand. And these people were probably half the reason this lake wasn’t built up with vacation homes. They made it arecreational area. Why did people have to use something to see its value? Why couldn’t people just save the lake to save it?
She closed her eyes. She remembered standing in her grandfather’s living room, eight years old, stomping her feet, tears streaking her face.I hate loggers. Why do they have to cut down trees?Her grandfather had sat her down on his lap and pointed up to the ceiling.What do you think this house is made out of?Trees.How do you think our family owns this beautiful old house?At eight, she hadn’t understood what her grandfather had meant bytimber money, but she’d gotten the message.Plus Oregon can grow trees fast. If we don’t grow them, people will cut down forests that take hundreds of years to regrow. We’re all part of the problem. We can all be part of the solution.
A gang of boys raced in front of her waving sticks at eachother. They’d been going all morning. Up and down the beach until one of them got hit and went weeping back to his mother, who lifted her head from her lawn chair long enough to say,What did you think would happen if you played with sticks, which the kids seemed to take as instructions to go back to hitting each other with sticks. The cycle of life.
She should call Kia. This wasn’t Kia’s fault. Opal was right; Kia was a talented, ambitious Black woman entrepreneur who’d taken advice from a knowledgeable consultant and live streamed a deal she had every reason to believe was a sure thing. How could Sullivan just blow off Kia’s texts and go camping? Wasn’t closing someone out one of the worst things you could do in a relationship? But what would she say if Kia said she was going to take a deal from Mega Eats? Or what if Kia didn’t answer her call? Didn’t even do her the favor of telling her they were breaking up and Kia was taking a deal from Mega Eats? Sullivan couldn’t bear it. At least if she didn’t talk to Kia, part of her could pretend, for a few more hours, that Kia cared for her, and that they would be all right as a couple even if they lost the lawsuit.
She swatted at a mosquito, although it was only trying to live its best life on her elbow.
If she called Opal right now, Opal would tell her they were not going to end up broke and alone. Kia still had her followers. Sullivan was still one of the most respected chefs on the West Coast. Any restaurant would hire her. Kia could hit the road again. And her thoughts ended up back where they started: watching the taillights of the RV as Kia pulled away for the last time.
Nina’s name appeared on her phone.
“Sorry to interrupt your forest contemplation,” Nina said.
“I’m at a lake. It’s not forested.”
“Are there bears? It’s all the same if there are bears.”
“No, ATVs and Jet Skis.”
“Worse. Look, I wanted to give you more time, but Mega Eats called with an ultimatum. You take the deal by five today or it’s off the table.”
The kids with sticks stopped hitting each other for a moment.
“How much more time do you need to think?”
“None. I can’t testify against her.”
The kids returned to their stick wars. An ATV threw sand on a woman’s beach blanket, and she yelled, “You’re dead to me, Brad!” In the water, a jet boat was doing doughnuts in its own wake.
“Can you please think this through, Sullivan. Really, really think about how you’re going to feel in a year if you say no.”
“I want to get married for real someday.” Sullivan drew her hands over her face, getting a grain of sand in her eye. A tear chased it away.
Nina waited.
“I want something that lasts, and there’s no way I can believe that kind of love is possible if I hurt Kia just to save myself. How can I believe in love if I can’t be the kind of person I want to be with?”
“You’ll end up like me: jaded and alone?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“I call it savvy and independent,” Nina said. “You don’t have a lot of time, but take a minute and think this through.”
“I don’t need to.”
“You’re really going to stay in? Risk everything?”
A man and woman walked by. She caught a snippet of their conversation.
“I love you, but your brother is a loser, and you act like an ass when you hang out with him.”
“Don’t sayI love youif you aren’t going to…”
