Katie had tried to speak to him. She’d gently asked what was wrong and did everything she knew to coax him to talk to her and confide in her. Instead of taking her concern seriously, he kissed her and told her nothing was the matter.
Something was on his mind. She wanted him to share it.
Still, he had not been cruel or unkind. Perhaps if she gave him time and space, he would come back to her. But if she were being truthful, even when he was at his most attentive, she wanted more from him.
He’d made her believe she deserved more. And what she deserved was for him to confide in her, stare into her eyes and share his inner turmoil, share part of his soul with her as she did with him. She deserved her husband’s love.
Clearly, he cared for her.
Clearly, he desired her.
But she felt the lack. She noticed when, during their most intimate moments, his gaze flicked away from hers. She saw that when she had finally been brave enough to whisper,I love you, his response was to kiss her, not say it back.
And now, despite her pleas, he turned away from her, rather than sharing what bothered him.
And yet, when she saw him astride Gawain, his greatcoat swelling behind him, she couldn’t stop her breath catching in her throat. He cut quite the figure on his mount, strong legs showing muscled thighs beneath his breeches.
“Your Grace,” she said, and curtseyed.
He smiled at her, that slow smile that did something wicked to her insides and made her want to undress him slowly.
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll change my mind, and we’ll never have new tenants.”
Katie frowned. “You’re going to look for new tenants today?”
“I thought I’d ask around and put the word out.”
“Are you traveling alone?” They had sold the carriage, but she thought he might take one of his men with him.
“As you see. I’ll be back late. Tell the cook not to wait for dinner.”
Unease, like a storm cloud, descended and settled over her head. His manner was easy and he seemed more like himself, but something in his eyes wasn’t quite right. Something in his smile seemed forced.
“Be careful,” she said, approaching him, despite her discomfort with the horse. She wanted to tell him not to go orto ask him to allow her to go as well. She knew he would deny her both requests. There was nothing to do but give him a tight smile.
He removed his hat, then leaned down and pushed hers back. His kiss was tender and lingering. “I will.”
Then he was away. Katie touched her lips and watched for a long, long time as the horse and rider disappeared into the distance.
He didn’t return home that evening. She had known he wouldn’t, felt the cloud of unease hovering all day. She told herself not to worry. Even Mrs. Yeatman offered that it was a long ride into town, and His Grace had probably decided to stay overnight. “He’ll be back for dinner tomorrow. Mark my words, Your Grace.”
But he wasn’t back the next day for dinner or at bedtime. It had rained heavily all day and into the evening, and she told herself the rain kept him away. The maid and the cook and the outriders all mentioned the rain made travel difficult when she passed them in the corridors.
But Katie knew it wasn’t the rain. She didn’t know how she knew. She told herself a thousand times that she was wrong, that Mrs. Yeatman had the right of it, that the outriders knew what they were talking about.
But when dawn broke gray and wet the next morning, her second sleepless night, she wasn’t able to pretend any longer. He was gone. She hadn’t been able to stop him—but nor could he stop her from going after him.
Katie asked her maid to dress her in her warmest cloak and told the cook to pack her a basket.
“You’re not going after him, Your Grace?” Mrs. Yeatman said, her eyes wide.
“I am.” Katie turned to Maisie, who had come to visit her aunt. “Would you go and ask the Dowells if I might borrow theirdonkey? I’ve seen her with the children. I think I can manage her.”
Maisie looked at her aunt, who made a sign that she should do as the duchess requested. When the girl was gone, Mrs. Yeatman said, “I do not think this a wise decision. You aren’t familiar with the countryside yet. At least take one of the men with you.”
Katie hadn’t ever had to worry about having a man accompany her. She hadn’t ever been allowed to go anywhere. Not to mention, people still shied from her when they saw her birthmark. She’d seen more than one person make the sign of the cross when they thought she was facing away. But if Carlisle was where she thought he was, she would need a manservant with her. “I’ll take Ebenezer.”
Mrs. Yeatman opened her mouth then closed it again, obviously reluctant to gainsay her mistress. “He’s quite young, Your Grace.”
