She squeezed him tighter, and for a few moments, he felt better.
*
Katie lay awakein the large bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn’t see the ceiling because of the draperies, but she could imagine it. She should have fallen asleep immediately. After the excitement and travel of the past few days, she was weary. Addedto that, Carlisle had given her not one but two climaxes as a means to christen their marriage bed. Beside her, his breathing was deep and regular. She should be dreaming as well, but she couldn’t help but think that while she had never been happier,hewas not happy.
Not at all.
Granted, he seemed happy enough with her. He was affectionate and as amiable and pleasant to her as ever. In bed, she saw another side of him, one that was more intense, more serious, and one that was eager to please. He often held off his own pleasure to make sure she was satisfied. He liked her moans and her cries, liked when she said his name—not his title, his nameHenry. She only did it in bed. To her he wasCarlisle, but in the intimacy of the moment, she could better think of him as a Henry.
After the past few days, she had a very good idea of what he’d been like as a child. He’d been the sort that wanted approval above all. But when he hadn’t been able to obtain it, he’d sought alternative ways to gain notice. Her brother Francis, who was two years younger than she, was much the same. He would do anything for the attention of their older brothers or their father. But as he was the youngest, they frequently blamed him for anything that went wrong, even when it wasn’t his doing. Then he’d be lectured and punished. And so, even though he wanted to please, he engaged in mischievous behavior because then, she assumed, at least he deserved the attention he was given.
Perhaps that was where cards and dice came in for Carlisle. The dice couldn’t judge him. Whether he won or lost, the cards never praised or censured. He didn’t have to please anyone but himself when he played.
For her own part, Katie had never been happier. She had finally escaped her father. She was out from under his thumb, which was something like a dream come true. Then, as thoughto add a silver lining to the dream, she had married a young, handsome duke, who had taken her to live in the shadow of a fairytale castle.
No, this house and this bed didn’t quite feel like hers yet. But she would add a touch here and there and make it hers. The bigger question was whether she could make Carlisle hers. She no longer had to question whether or not she loved him. She might never have been in love before, but she couldn’t deny what she felt for him. And it seemed like every day he did something to make her love him more. When he was buried deep inside her, their hands clasped, both straining for release, she longed to admit her feelings. She wanted to tell him she loved him and hear him say it back. But she refrained from saying the words again because she was afraid of what he would say in return.
Perhaps,I care for you too.
Or perhaps he wouldn’t answer at all. His eyes would simply slide away from hers, and he’d pretend he hadn’t heard. Katie wasn’t certain which was worse.
She couldn’t make him love her. She knew that. She couldn’t do anything more than she had already done to make him happy. Perhaps if he found the witch or her offspring and was absolved of the curse that hung over his head, then he might be happy.
But she didn’t think so. In her experience, nothing in this world was free. Absolution would cost, and she didn’t think Carlisle wanted to pay the price.
Katie feared the cost would be too high for her husband, or any of his friends, to pay.
*
The next afternoon,Katie rode out with Carlisle to meet their tenants. Though they could see the smoke from the chimneyof the nearest tenant from the guardhouse, the distance was further than she’d thought. And she was glad Carlisle had suggested she ride in the carriage, he riding Gawain beside her, rather than walking. The carriage also allowed her to bring several gift baskets Mrs. Yeatman had helped her prepare this morning. Each basket contained a loaf of bread, dried herbs, and a bottle of wine from the guardhouse’s cellar, which had proven quite extensive.
The first tenants welcomed them warmly and accepted the basket, their big-eyed children bowing politely. Carlisle asked what he might do for them, and the tenants said little and continued smiling. But Katie had been on several farms by now and mentioned problems she knew to be typical—the rising cost of seeds, pests in the fields, broken plows, repairs needed on the buildings. Once she mentioned these, the tenants admitted to needing assistance in all of those areas. Katie wrote everything down in a small notebook she had brought, while Carlisle looked agitated and even a bit annoyed. She suggested he might send to his solicitor for the ledgers so they could compare crop yields and profits, but he only grunted in response. They took their leave, and the tenants waved at them as they rode to the next farm.
Katie leaned out the window, hesitant to ask, but something was bothering her husband. “Why is it you have no steward to look after the tenants?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “If my father hired one, he was not still in service when I inherited the title. I was always too preoccupied to make any changes or even to come and see for myself what should be done. I imagine I will act as steward for the time being. There’s no shortage of books on farming in the parlor that I might study.”
She swallowed, summoning the courage to ask her next question. “And what of your solicitor? You seem reluctant to write to him.”
“I said I would do it,” he answered curtly, then rode ahead.
They visited four tenants in all. Two were surly and dismissive of the duke, but Katie vowed to win them over.
Her husband seemed to care little about winning the tenants over. He was more concerned about their income. “We’ll need to attract more tenants if we hope to make any sort of profit. Vast tracts of land are lying fallow and untended. We need to put them to use.”
Katie found the books on farming, and they began to read.
Over the next fortnight, Katie spent hours studying farming books with him and going over assets and liabilities. They determined they’d have to let the outriders go once the quarter was up and sell the carriage, as well as the team of horses, as soon as possible. The funds could be used to build homes for tenants so as to attract new ones.
They also hired a maid and cook to assist Mrs. Yeatman, and when the outriders had done all the repairs necessary at the guardhouse, Carlisle sent them to help the tenants with their chores.
“They’ll be glad to return to London,” Carlisle said one noon after sending the men out. “They’d much rather preen in a town house than get their hands dirty.”
“Speaking of London,” Katie said, “a box came from your mother today. Shall we open it?”
He was beside her in a moment, prying open the box and handing her the contents as quickly as possible.
“My paints!” she exclaimed, smiling at the set.
