Margaret couldn’t say why, but her heart contracted painfully at his words. He’d been loyal to her, kept his marriage vows, even though she’d left him. Even though there’d been no promise to ever see each other again.
“You know there’s never been anyone for me but you, Maggie.”
Margaret levered onto her elbow. “There’s never been anyone else I wanted either. God, Ambrose, I’m sorry I left without a word. I shouldn’t have done it that way.”
“I didn’t give you much choice,” he said. “You tried to tell me you were unhappy. I didn’t want to listen. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t want to play the role of the diplomat’s wife. It wasn’t until after you left that I tried to put myself in your place. I would have hated being my wife too.”
“I didn’t—Idon’thate being your wife. I just don’t want to beonlyyour wife. I want more.”
“You found it. You’re a Royal Saboteur. That’s the best of the best. All this time, I was holding you back. You left me, and in three years accomplished what took me almost five.”
“I had a good teacher.”
“I patronized you.”
“No—”
He gave her a look.
“Well, yes, you did. At first.”
“I didn’t expect you to be so damn good at everything. I can admit, my pride got in the way.”
Margaret swallowed, uncertain what to say. Ambrose had always been a good man, but he could also be stubborn and stuck in convention. The way he spoke now gave her some hope that he had changed. “I never stopped loving you,” she said quietly.
He took her face in his hands and kissed her gently. “I never stopped loving you. The problem is, I don’t know if love is enough anymore.”
***
AMBROSE KNEW WHAT SHEwas thinking. She could hide her thoughts, allow an impenetrable mask to descend and keep everyone out. But she’d never shown him the mask. She’d never tried to keep him out. She didn’t do so now, and her expression was a mixture of disappointment and resignation.
When she’d said she loved him, that she’d never stopped loving him, his chest had tightened so he could barely breathe. He’d needed, so badly, to hear those words. Then he’d looked at her face and saw the hope. It was the same hope he’d been toying with since she’d reappeared in his life. Could they try again? Could their marriage work now?
But he hadn’t been able to convince himself, and he couldn’t lie to her.
Maggie pulled back, taking the blanket with her. A moment later she was back in her shift and pushing her wild red hair out of her face. “You’re still angry that I left.”
“I was angry,” he admitted. “I was furious with you for years, maybe until you kicked your way into this room and back into my life. But what I’m saying now is not out of anger.”
“And you think sayinglove isn’t enough anymorewon’t hurt me?”
“I don’t want to hurt you, and I’m not angry at you. I understand why you left, even if I don’t like it. But now you’re looking at me like you want to try again, like you think our marriage is worth saving.”
“You don’t think our marriage is worth saving?”
Ambrose had to step carefully now. She was angry, the kind of anger that often led to heavy objects being thrown in his general direction. She’d never hit him with anything, but that wasn’t because she didn’t have good aim.
“It’s not a question of worth. There’s nothing and no one I love more than you, Maggie. I expect you would say the same about me.”
“Not at the moment.”
He smiled. “Ten minutes ago, there was nothing and no one you loved more than me.”
“Fair enough.”
“But we both admit we’ve always felt that way, and it wasn’t enough to keep us together. I was always chasing my career, going after this mission or that. You wanted more out of life than waiting for me to come home, and I know it seemed the perfect solution for you to join me, but it was never that easy for me. It’s still not.”
“Because you still can’t see me as your equal.”
