Chapter Four
Ambrose scowled athis wife and rubbed his still smarting leg. “It’s not horse manure.”
“Oh, really? If I was all you ever wanted, then explain to me why we had to remove to the Continent for your career as a diplomat? Why you continuously hounded me to host this ambassador or that ambassador? Why you forced me to go shopping week after week for new gown after new gown—”
“How dare I torture you,” he drawled.
“Itwastorture. I hate dressmakers. All they do is criticize. I’m too tall. I’m too thin. My complexion is too spotty. Must I wear my spectacles?”
Ambrose sat forward. She had never said any of this to him before. He thought women loved shopping for new gowns. His mother and sister always spent weeks planning their shopping trips to Town. Why hadn’t he ever considered that Maggie didn’t enjoy shopping any more than she enjoyed attending social events? She preferred to stay home and read. He enjoyed a quiet night at home as well, but quiet nights at home didn’t further his career.
“Maggie—”
She held up a hand. “But do you know what was even worse than all the parties and the shopping and the pretending to smile when all I really wanted was to close my eyes and sleep for a week? It was when you were away. Then Icouldclose my eyes and sleep for a week, but I also desperately wanted to because I missed you so terribly. You would go for weeks at a time, and I’d hear nothing from you.”
“I couldn’t write on assignment. I explained that.”
“It didn’t make me feel any less lonely. Stuck in a foreign country with no friends or family. I was so alone. After I read so much my head hurt, I used to practice lockpicking or ciphering to while away the hours. Perhaps if we’d been in England, among friends and the familiar, I would have managed it better.”
He’d known she was lonely. He hated to think of her like that, and yet when he’d been called away on a mission, he seemed to forget how much time passed. He’d come home and couldn’t understand why she wasn’t happy to see him. Why she was sullen and resentful.
“I tried taking you with me when I could. That was my first mistake.”
“That was one of the only things you did right. When I was with you on a mission, I had purpose and meaning. It was thrilling.”
It had been thrilling, but not for the reasons she said. He’d liked having her with him, but even more he’d liked the way she came alive when she was working with him. She’d seemed to glow from within and, at times, he would have difficulty looking away from her as she was so lovely. So alive.
“It was dangerous,” he added.
“I liked the danger.”
“That’s what worried me. You seemed intent on getting yourself killed.”
“And yet, three years as an agent, and I am still very much alive. I told you then that I could take care of myself. But you wouldn’t listen. You insisted on locking me up—”
“Maggie—”
“Margaret.”
“Wife. I didn’tlockyou up.”
“Not with chains or bolts, but you went away without me. You left me alone for weeks and weeks. Was that because I was all you ever wanted? Ha. What you really wanted was to become a Royal Saboteur.”
“It seems that was what you wanted too. Because one day I came home, and you were gone.” The old anger burned in him again. He hadn’t felt it so strongly in years, but now it boiled up in him as hot and potent as it had been the day he returned home and found her bags packed and their bed empty. The pain that had speared him then lanced through him again, as sharp as the assassin’s knife had felt when it plunged into his flesh. Except Maggie had stabbed him through the heart.
“I was tired of trying to explain! You wouldn’t listen to me, so I acted.”
“You left me.”
“Not beforeyouleftme.”
“Oi! Ye want me to sit ‘ere all the day?” the jarvey called.
Ambrose glanced out the window and realized they had reached the Queen’s Arms. They’d been sitting outside the tavern for several minutes. He pushed the door to the hackney open and stepped out. His wound ached, but he ignored it and turned to offer his hand to Maggie. She pushed it away and stepped down from the coach on her own. Ambrose flipped the jarvey a coin and followed her toward the Queen’s Arms.
