“I think it best if I give you a moment to discuss,” Baron said. “Excuse me.” He collected his cane and walked past them and out of the study, closing the door behind him.
“You want to work alone,” Lucy said as soon as the door closed.
Did he? “Don’t you?”
“You take the mission then. I’ll stay here. God knows I need more practice with a pistol. And with knives. I’m sure Pembroke Lodge was just luck. I won’t be so lucky next time.”
She was rambling. She never rambled.
“Lucy, why did you choose to work together?”
She sighed. “I know I should say something like we are such good partners, and I do think we are good partners. But I also know you want some distance from me. You made that clear.” She lowered her voice. “Especially when you left me asleep in bed without even a good-bye.”
“I thought that would be easier.”
She waved a hand. “Well, it wasn’t. Easier, that is. Not for me, at least. But you take the solo mission.”
Duncan stood and moved back from the fire. He was suddenly quite warm. “You didn’t answer my question. You said youshouldsay we are good partners. Why did you really want to work together?”
She looked down at her rattling teacup. Quite deliberately, she set it on the table at her elbow. But her hands were still shaking. She couldn’t hide it.
“And why are your hands shaking?” he asked.
She rose and walked toward him.
Without thinking, he took her trembling hands. “You’re ice cold,” he whispered.
“I’m terrified,” she whispered back.
He grasped her hands tightly. “Of what?”
“You.” Her eyes met his, and she was holding back tears.
“I don’t understand. You know I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” she said. “But I hurt you.”
He shook his head.
“I did. You were in love with me, and I didn’t love you back.”
Emotional pain. That was what they were discussing? Duncan released her hands. “Let’s not go over that again. I don’t expect you to pretend to have feelings for me just to spare my feelings.”
“What if I wasn’t pretending?” she asked. “What if I do have feelings?”
Duncan felt as though some giant hand had lifted the farmhouse and turned it on its side. He reached out blindly and caught the back of a chair, holding on to keep from falling. “Lucy, don’t,” he whispered. He’d barely been able to walk away from her once. He didn’t know if he’d be able to do it again. “I want you too, but I can’t...” He swallowed the rising lump in his throat. His hand tightened on the chair. Tears streamed down her cheeks now, and he wouldn’t allow himself to cry. He’d made his decision. He wanted more than she could give.
“What I feel is more than desire, Duncan,” she said. Her hand covered his, and he knew he should pull his away, but he couldn’t. “I’ve had time to think. And think. And at first, I didn’t understand how I felt, why I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“You’re certain this isn’t about desire?” he asked, raising his brows.
“I didn’t only think about what you can do in bed,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him. “I thought about how you brought the tea I like in the coach the morning we left Pembroke Lodge. And how you packed food but knew I wouldn’t want it while we were traveling. And how you helped me with my boot. And how you always took the first watch on surveillance or made sure I climaxed first.”
“Lucy, what is your point? You know I love you.”
She inhaled sharply at his words. “You love me? Still?”
“Of course. Do you think I’d fall out of love so quickly?”
