She was alone.
“Miss Charlotte,” Addy said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You come away from there. There ain’t nothing else you can do.”
She knew Addy was right, and yet a fury she had stored over the years, an impotent, festering thing, boiled up inside her. “You,” she spat at Freddie, rising to her feet and pointing a bloodstained hand at him. “You killed him.”
Freddie looked nonplussed. “It was him or me,” he said, indicating Cade’s limp fingers, which were clutching the butt of a pistol she hadn’t noticed. “And while I’m certain the outcome was not to your liking,” Freddie went on, “I really had little choice.” He reached down, flicked open Cade’s tailcoat, and removed an envelope stained with blood. “The codes,” he said, holding it up. “Your friend would have sold them to the French, and ensured the deaths of thousands of my countrymen. I daresay, in my position, madam, you would have done the same.”
“No,” Charlotte said, though she knew he was right. “No, I wouldn’t have killed Cade. I could never—”
“Then you would have preferred I die?” Freddie said, his voice raw with anger. He crossed to her and grabbed her sleeve. Behind Charlotte, Addy made a low moan. “Have I killed your lover, Charlotte? Have I been an even bigger fool than I thought for believing even for one instant that you could have ever loved me?”
She stared at him. Had he known how she felt? Had he known all along?
“I—I did—I do love you,” she said, her lips numb and clumsy. She paused, waiting, hoping, pleading for him to tell her he loved her, too. If he loved her, she’d do anything for him. She waited, and the silence dragged on. She would not beg him to love her back.
Finally he gave her a rueful smile. “Do you, Charlotte? Do you love me? Or was it all a ploy to save Pettigru? Or perhaps it’s my money you love.”
“Stop it,” she said, tears blurring her vision. “You’re angry right now. You’re not seeing clearly.”
“I see quite clearly.” He reached into his pocket and withdrew several notes. “Here’s a hundred pounds. Tomorrow I’ll go to my solicitor and arrange for the remainder of the thousand pounds I promised you. Maybe the blunt will fill the hole in your cold heart.” He stepped past her and opened the bedroom door. Charlotte could see several of the servants were standing outside, undoubtedly alerted by the sound of the gunshot. “Go call for a magistrate,” Freddie said to one of the footmen. “Tell him I’ve shot an intruder.”
Charlotte dropped the money on the floor and wanted to follow it down. She wanted to sink to the floor, curl up, and die with Cade, but Addy came up behind her and whispered, “Stand strong, sugar.”
Charlotte listened. She would be strong, and she would not stand for Dewhurst’s accusations.
Later Charlotte would marvel at how easily they had slipped away. Not that Addy had made things easy with all her arguing and protesting, but with the house drowning in investigators, surgeons, and Freddie’s colleagues from the Foreign Office, no one had even noticed when she dragged Addy to the front door, calmly opened it, and walked out.
No one had told them to stop or ordered them to turn around when they flagged down the hackney and directed the jarvey to the docks. No one had blinked when Charlotte bought the tickets for passage back to Charleston via a change of vessels in the Caribbean islands, and no one blocked her way when she boarded the ship. A few hours later, they were under way, and as the gray light of dawn peeked over the water, Charlotte said goodbye to England and Freddie Dewhurst.
It was the hardest farewell yet. Her mother, her father, her brother—those partings had battered her heart, but leaving Freddie was tearing it in two. But could she really have stayed? Could she have lived with a man—lived with herself—if she’d stayed and he didn’t love her? She waited and prayed, but Dewhurst hadn’t confessed his love to her. The simple fact was, he didn’t love her. He wanted her. He desired her, but he didn’t love her.
She leaned against the ship’s rail and stared at the miles of sea between her and home. Yes, Freddie had killed Cade. He’d also defended her country to a group of his acquaintances and paid the price. But that wasn’t love. That wasn’t sacrifice. How could she give up her home, the life she’d fought so hard to rebuild, for a man who didn’t love her enough to make the same sacrifice he expected of her? She closed her eyes until she heard Addy come up beside her.
“Now, Miss Charlotte, it’s getting cold. You come down below and have some hot tea.”
Charlotte glanced down at the black mourning dress she’d donned before leaving London. She hadn’t thought to bring a wrap, and she was cold and her skin was stinging from the harsh wind, but she was not ready to go down. She needed the numbness the cold brought. “No, thank you. I need the air right now.”
Addy frowned but didn’t argue. She turned to go, but Charlotte caught her arm.
“Addy, do you think I made the right decision? Do you think it’s right for me to go home? With—without him?”
Addy gave her a sad smile. “Sugar, I’ve known you from the first second you were born, and this is the first time I ever heard you ask such a question. You ain’t one to question. Right or wrong, you always know your own mind, and I’m not going presume to tell it to you now.”
“That doesn’t help me, Addy.”
Addy smiled. “You’re too old for my help now, sugar. You don’t need me anymore.”
“Yes, I do,” Charlotte protested. “You’re not going to abandon me when we get back to Charleston, are you? I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Suddenly there was a commotion and several sailors rushed aft. Charlotte and Addy were midship, starboard side, and with a curious exchange of glances, they made their way aft with the rest of the passengers.
Several sailors were passing a spyglass among them and gesturing to something in the distance. “What is it?” Charlotte asked.
“Another ship, ma’am,” one of the sailors answered.
Charlotte tensed. Though she’d booked passage on a merchant ship headed for the Caribbean, there was a war on. If the French or the Americans ran across the British ship and captured her, they could all be taken prisoner.
“Who is it?” Charlotte asked.
