Freddie sat on the cot. “You don’t think she intended to dissuade me, do you?”
“Of course she did. She doesn’t approve of rakes.”
“She tolerates you.”
“Only because she wants to reform me.”
Freddie arched his eyebrows. “And has she?”
“I don’t know.” He handed the bottle to Freddie and, sitting forward, put his head in his hands. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Freddie. I can’t stop thinking about her. I haven’t even looked at another woman since I saw her again.”
“Good God, man. Have another drink.” He offered the bottle to Alex, but Alex waved it away.
“The sooner she’s on that ship back to England, the better. Damn!” He slammed his fist into the wall. “I can’t even go up there. If I were with her now I’d—” He leaned back and closed his eyes.
“What are you going to do?” Dewhurst said after a pause.
Alex didn’t answer. He knew what he had to do. Had known all along. But somehow voicing it aloud made it inevitable. “I’m going to let her go.” His voice was flat and emotionless. “It’s the best thing. She can go home, marry Dandridge, and that will be the end of it.”
Freddie snorted. “You really think it’ll be that easy? She had a mutinous look in her eye when I mentioned leaving without you.”
Alex could well believe it. “She’ll have no other choice.”
“And you think she’ll return home and take up where life left off? If you believe that, then you’re an idiot.” He waved the bottle at Alex. “The girl’s got stars in her eyes every time she hears your name.”
Alex shook his head. “She’ll get over it.”
Freddie rolled his eyes. “Not likely.”
“A few weeks with no word from me, and she’ll be so angry she’ll hate me. After I find her brother, I’m going straight to Nelson. We can’t be certain the admiral ever received news of Bonaparte’s plan. I may not return for months. By then I’ll be over her.”
Freddie sat forward. “You mean she’ll be over you.” Alex scowled. “Right.”
Freddie eyed him sympathetically. “Why don’t you just admit you’re smitten with the chit and marry her?”
Alex shot up. “Because it would never work.”
“Why not? You’re perfect for each other.”
“I don’t like entanglements.” Alex waved an arm.
“Perhaps you should have thought of that before.”
Alex glared at him. “I don’t want a wife, Freddie, and I’ll suffer the consequences if it means avoiding a marriage that’s doomed from the start.”
Freddie began to protest, but Alex raised a hand. “Enough. Your job is to get her back safely and discreetly. If word of this gets out, she’ll be ruined.” The scandal would be disastrous for her whole family. Lucia would be isolated, never again accepted by polite society, shunned by her family and friends.
“Get her to Winterbourne Hall without being seen, and make sure nothing connects us. By the time you arrive in London, I’ll be on my way to the West Indies.”
Freddie grew serious and put his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “You don’t have to go.”
Alex stared at him. All joking aside, Freddie could go to Nelson for him. And after Alex found Dashing, he could return to England with the boy. It would be a matter of days before he was with Lucia again. There’d be talk, but it would end if he married her, took her to Grayson Park, started a family . . .
The thought chilled him. No. A sleepless night had only reaffirmed the truth: he cared for her more than he wanted to admit, was dangerously close to falling in love with her. And he’d decided long ago the part of the lovesick fool was not for him. He was going to end this ruse while he still could. “I’m going.”
Freddie sank onto the cot.
“She’s going to hate you.”
