I have to think about it for a moment. “You know…I think I feel better. Between tonight and the other day, it’s a little like a weight has been lifted.” I can’t help but smile. “It feels good. Really good.”
“We just need to keep looking forward, I think. No more looking back!”
“For sure!” I rummage around to find my bathing suit while Roxie does the same. I don’t want to bring up anything bad, but I can’t help but ask, “Are you doing okay?”
Straightening, she smiles. And it’s a genuine one. “I am. Vanessa made me realize we only have another week with the guys and then this is going to be the trip that I was hoping for. What I wanted more than anything was time to reconnect with my best friends. I haven’t felt like myself in a really long time and I knew our time together would remind me of the person I used to be.”
“Or…”
“Or…?”
“You can be whoever you want to be. I thought Ash’s story about meeting Matt was kind of a great reminder of how we don’t have to stay the same.” Sighing, I sit down on my forgotten bed. “I was feeling like an outsider when we got here because everyone was…different than they used to be, and I was looking at it like it was a bad thing. But it’s not. Like you just said, we need to keep looking forward. We’ve all grown and changed, and we’re all flawed, but that doesn’t mean that we’re completely different. Deep down, the three of you are still the same people I have known and loved since Mrs. Marino put us together.”
She’s beside me hugging me hard in the blink of an eye. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I hug her back just as fiercely. “I’ve missed you too.” When we move apart, we’re both smiling. “How about you and I make the best of this next week and then truly embrace this trip?”
“Liv, I think you are doing more than making the best of the time here with the guys. I’m not begrudging you that. It’s like the universe wants you and Ash together, so who am I to argue? And I know I’ve said it before, but he’s amazing. Like seriously one of the nicest, most genuine humans I’ve ever met. And you know how I feel about the male species at the moment, so if I’m telling you he’s awesome, you can believe it.”
“I really like him,” I blurt out, like my mouth has a mind of its own. Roxie’s eyes go wide. “The last few days alone with him just…gah! I never felt like this about anyone before! Ever. The thought of him leaving and then he immediately has to go to Dallas, and then I’ll be here and then back in Seattle…I have no idea how this can work. But I really, really, really want this to work.”
“You’re not tied to Seattle, Liv. You’ve always said that. So why would you stay there? I’m not saying you have to move back to Raleigh—although that would be amazing and we would all love it—but you can move closer to Ash.”
“And I know that, but he travels a lot too. Like…he told me how sometimes he’s gone for two to three weeks at a time. How do you even have a relationship when that’s your life? We both said that we want to figure out a way, but I honestly don’t see how.”
“Move, Liv,” she reiterates. “What’s keeping you in Seattle? Nothing!”
“It was for book research…”
“Yeah, okay, but you’ve lived there, and you don’t need to keep living there. Are you setting this new book in Seattle?”
“Um…”
“Look, I have no idea what it takes to write a book. I don’t get the process or why you felt the need to move in order to write instead of maybe just visiting these places, but that’s just me. If you think this thing with Ash can really go somewhere, then you need to be bold and brave—which we all know you already are—and be willing to do what it takes.”
“And what about him? Shouldn’t he have to do something too?”
“How do you know he won’t?”
Oh.
Right.
I don’t know because we haven’t talked about it.
Loren knocks on the door. “Come on, you guys! We’re waiting for you!”
“Just think about it,” Roxie says quietly.
“Trust me; it’s all I’m going to be thinking about.”
The room is bathed in soft, amber light, the kind that seems to wrap around you like a warm blanket. Everything on the other side of our bedroom door is a million miles away. We’re back in our little cocoon and it feels like we’ve been away far too long. The low roar of the ocean is muffled by the thick curtains, and the only sounds are the soft rustle of sheets and the rhythm of our breathing.
It’s a little after one and Sebastian has me in his arms as he gets comfortable in bed. It was a wonderful night and I’m beyond thankful that everything seems to be back to normal.
“Are you sleepy?” he asks.
As if on cue, I yawn as I shake my head. “Sorry. I mean, maybe a little. Why?” I’m hoping it’s for sexy reasons, but when he pulls back slightly and looks at me, I can tell he has something on his mind.
