That makes me feel a little better, but not completely.
“I didn’t realize how my move and my life affected everyone,” I admit lowly. The need to explain myself after the driveway conversation is almost overwhelming. “To me, nothing changed except geography, but clearly I was wrong. I guess I just expected everything to be the same, like I’d come to visit and everyone would be exactly how I left them.”
“I get that, but I’m not gonna lie and tell you it didn’t suck every time you bailed.”
“I didn’t bail, I…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Weather delays. Flight cancelations, blah, blah, blah…” she says dramatically. “It just always seemed to happen to you. None of us ever have issues traveling like you do. It doesn’t even seem possible! Are you sure you didn’t make it up sometimes because you didn’t want to visit?”
“I swear I would never do something like that. And believe it or not, I can prove at least some of it to you.”
“Liv, come on. I’m not pressuring you for proof.”
Standing, I quietly shut our bedroom door and lean against it. “What I’m about to tell you has to stay just between the two of us. At least for now.”
Roxie’s eyes go wide, but she nods.
“I met Ash on the flight from Denver,” I whisper.
“Seriously? How did you know it was him?”
“I didn’t until the funeral. When he walked up to the casket, I swear I almost fainted!”
“Holy shit! And you only just met him on the plane? You’d never been introduced on the brief trips home? Matt never mentioned him?”
I shake my head. “I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the whole thing, but we were sitting next to each other on the plane and he was helping me write the eulogy!”
“No!”
“Yes!” I move across the room and sit next to the dogs on her bed. “We started talking because he saw me typing and heard me sighing and grumbling and I told him I was writing a eulogy for my ex. I never said Matt’s name and he never mentioned that he was on his way to a funeral either. Then the flight got delayed and we had to deplane, and I ran into him again in the lounge.”
She’s laughing and smiling and truly enjoying herself. “This is awesome! Talk about a meet cute! This needs to be in your next book!”
Ugh. I don’t even want to think about the next book right now.
“Then we got back on the plane and some old bitch tried to take my seat and he stood up for me.” I shrug. “He’s a nice guy and I was bummed when I didn’t see him again in the airport when we landed. I kept kicking myself because I wanted to get his number.”
“And now you’re going to be on vacation with him! I love it!”
When I don’t match her enthusiasm, she immediately senses that I’m holding something back.
“Okay, out with it.”
Why lie? “Fine. Now that I know he was a friend of Matt’s, there’s a bit of an ick factor there. That’s not the kind of connection I want with someone.”
The look she gives me is of utter disbelief. “Do you even hear yourself? You’re friends with Mike and Zayne and tons of other people who knew Matt and you’re not icked out by them. What’s the big deal?”
“I don’t know!” I snap. “This was all thrown at me so quickly and I’m sure he must think I’m a psycho after the way I carried on about Matt on the plane and then at the funeral. He saw me at my absolute worst and one of my lowest moments. I’m sure he’s icked out about hanging out with me too.”
“Yeah, because guys are icked out by beautiful blondes with big green eyes.” She rolls her eyes before adding, “Be serious! If he’s a guy with a pulse, he’s not going to be icked out by you.”
“Um…”
“And do you even want him to be? He’s a good-looking guy who is ridiculously nice. If I didn’t hate all males—except for Gunnar—I’d be into him.” She reaches over the dogs and hugs me. “Don’t let the ick ruin this for you.”
I hug her back and pray that she’s right.
The timing is completely wrong, and he probably thinks I’m a total mess, but…maybe I’m mistaken?
