Riley snapped out a response. “Our brains are assholes and try to use past experiences to keep us from getting hurt. But if we recognize it, we can watch our thoughts and move past it.”
The comment struck home. Sierra tucked it aside to examine later. Since Kane had stirred up old emotion, she’d been questioning the way she’d set up her life.
Aspen rose up in her chair with excitement. “Yes—I heard Jamie Kern Lima speak and remind us we are all worthy of love and kindness but we need to own our value. We are worthy!”
Maleficent, a new member to the group, tilted her head. Dressed in black leather shorts, open-toed boots, and a t-shirt that said Love Hurts, she was the most badass in the group. Her burgundy braids and elaborate tats boasted confidence, but Sierra had found her heart was tender and hidden behind a wall of rock. Once Brick’s rival, she owned a tour company that used to compete with Ziggy’s Tours. Now, she’d become a good friend of Aspen and Sierra. “No shit? You think it’s that easy?”
“Not easy, but with practice, we get better,” Riley said.
Bethany nibbled at her nails; pale skin still seemingly untouched by the sun even living in the beach town for a while. “How’d you learn all this new stuff, Riley?”
Riley sighed. “I’m having some issues with Ian,” she admitted. “So, instead of leaning back into my usual ways, where I completely sabotage the relationship, I decided to do a deep dive on fixing some of my crap.”
Sierra looked at the hopeful faces around the table. It was nice to know they all struggled with different things. Too many times, female communities tore each other apart to make them feel better about themselves, but here it was different. What had begun as an excuse to gossip and hurt transformed into true support.
Sierra loved it.
They took turns trying to offer advice and encouragement as they went around. The whole time, Sierra longed to come clean to Aspen and her friends about Kane. Just word vomit the entire thing and be done with it. But after that explosive confrontation a few nights ago?
She battled even more confusion.
He actually wanted to pursue a relationship. The sheer panic his declaration caused had bumped up a few of her own insecurities she didn’t like to face. And one of them became crystal clear.
She bitched about not being able to find a man that fit. A man who’d take away the edge of loneliness. A man to share her wins and her losses.
But the real truth?
She’d become used to being on her own. Any type of attachment gave her a sinking pit in her stomach. God, who couldn’t even commit to a cat? Lately, Aspen had been nudging Sierra to get out of her safe circle. And though she had her business and friends, she recognized those type of relationships were easier. Less risk of being disappointed. Or even worse?
Being hurt.
She’d worked so hard these past years to get into a good place inside and out. There had been so much loss in her life, why bother looking for more when she was relatively happy?
But now Kane threatened her peace. He was a droolworthy, sex-on-a-stick temptation stalking out from the shadows of her past, ready to chase her back into his bed.
Goose bumps broke out at the erotic image.
Dammit, she was doing it again. Picturing herself in one of Aspen’s novels. She had to stop.
“Sierra?”
She blinked, refocusing. Everyone was staring at her, awaiting a response. “Oh, sorry. Was thinking about some stuff.”
“Great, it’s your turn to share,” Riley urged.
Sierra shifted in her seat, pinning on a bright smile. “I’m going on a date this weekend,” she forced herself to say. The women applauded but she raised her hand. “I’m not excited about it. Another hookup from Brooklyn.”
The room quieted. Lacey winced. “She doesn’t have a great track record.”
“But all you need is one success,” Aspen reminded her. “Kiss a hundred frogs and statistically proven, you’ll find the prince.”
Sierra rolled her eyes. “I’m not even sure I’m looking for one anymore.”
Aspen sighed. “But you deserve a guy who will see all the wonderful things we do. You just need to step out of your comfort zone and give it a try.”
Sierra looked into her sister’s pleading eyes and tried to squash the flicker of guilt. She was going to tell her about Kane. Soon. Lying to Aspen was the worst feeling in the world and once her conscience was clear, she wouldn’t have to pretend.
“I’ll give this date a solid try,” she promised. “But I’ve decided to do something even bigger.” Sierra dragged in a breath. “I’m going to get a cat.”
