Since finishing Year Twelve, two life-changing things had happened: My best friend, Tess, moved across country to be with her boyfriend, something I didn’t support at all, mainly because I was selfish, not because I didn’t think they belonged together. When it came to Toby Morrison, there was nothing you could say that was bad about him; he was practically perfect, which is why he and Tess worked. They were the golden couple, the kind you would expect to find on the cover of a Bonds catalogue; although I was happy for them, they also made my heart twang with a deep-seated jealousy, never more so than when Toby proposed to Tess in the most epic way. Rooftop at the stroke of midnight into the new millennium: fireworks and tears; it was beautiful and I was happy and sad all at once. Happy for Tess and her amazing new life, but sad that I had lost a part of me, had lost my best friend. Even though Tess assured me nothing would change, I knew that wasn’t entirely true. Everything was changing. It was the big reason why I was forcing my own change, to get out of Onslow and away from all the happiness that surrounded me.
The second life-altering moment was Adam. When he joined the army it rocked my world like nothing else; I guess I came to believe that Adam would just do what his brother Chris had done: run the Onslow Hotel and just be there, getting me drunk on the weekends and making me laugh. Even as I sat in the confines of my flat, I couldn’t help but wonder, like I did every weekend, if Adam and the boys would be at the Onslow right now. I shook the thought from my mind.
Come on, Ellie, get your shit together. So what if they were there? Need you remind yourself that you were still mad at Adam; no, make that furious at him for not coming to say goodbye? For not being reliable enough to come to my farewell party, to stand me up without any given explanation. I had waited on the edge of the driveway outside the Onslow Hotel calling his mobile, worrying that something was wrong. Adam was often late but I would never have believed he wouldn’t come. And then of course I remembered back to when he had joined the army, and what an utterly crap pen pal he had been. It had been one of many but one of the most serious fights when he had come back to Onslow. In typical Adam style, he returned as if nothing had happened; he simply walked back into my life with that cocky, confident smirk on his face, the one I had wanted to wipe off his face with my fist, I was so mad.
It was one of the bigger reasons I decided to stay away this time: to punish him. That, and ignore all his messages, messages I found myself flicking through on my phone with a smug smile on my face.
Adam 8:05 p.m.
“Ellie, I’m sooooorrryyyyyyy.”
Adam 9:01 p.m.
“Elliiiiieeeee, what are you dooooooing?”
Adam 10:48 p.m.
“Ellie-Ellie-Ellie-Ellie!!!! Come on, answer me!!!!”
Adam 12:04 a.m.
E
Adam 12:04 a.m.
L
Adam 12:04 a.m.
L
Adam 12:04 a.m.
I
Adam 12:04 a.m.
E
Adam 12:05 a.m.
“Please don’t make me use your middle and last name.”
Adam 12:10 a.m.
“Fine! You may have won the battle, but you have not won the WAAAARRRR.”
* * *
And this was the general one-sided exchange that had continued from the moment I’d left Onslow. Tess thought I was being overly cruel, that he really was sorry for standing me up, that I should just get over it. But it wasn’t just about getting over it; there was more to it than just punishment. I kind of liked Adam’s texts; I had never heard from him so much in my life. In some sick way they were a link to him, a very one-sided link, one I didn’t know how long would last if I didn’t answer. My thumb hovered over the reply button, staring down at the last message, tempted to reply as I read his latest addition over and over.
Adam 7:09 p.m.
“x”
Bastard! It was a simple enough gesture, certain to melt my icy façade, something he would no doubt be taking bets on that this above all else would have me replying.
I chucked my phone onto the couch. As it bounced and slid away, I looked at it as if it had given me an electric shock. I had to keep busy. I had to refrain from the temptation of replying to Adam’s texts; he was wearing me down and that’s exactly what he was working on.
