This time, it’s my gaze that’s unrelenting, taking in the sight of him. He’s slump-shouldered as he looks at me, his expression contorting slightly, shifting from something unreadable into another version of unreadable.
Not helpful. Damn actors.
“I…I can’t believe you tried to find me.”
I gulp, unable to read him. Is he happy? Unhappy? Oh God.
“I went to the audition,” he confirms. “No news yet.”
“Good.” I’m holding my breath, fists tight while I wait for any hint of how he’s taking the news of my impulsive search to find him. I can’t believe I did that. Stupid, really. I mean, what was I thinking? Obviously, he’s going to be upset.
“Tell me something,” he says, shifting. “Why would you do all of this? Go to New York? Looking for me?”
“Because…” My voice drops into something low and unsteady, but I’m channeling every last bit of resolve I have, the sort of confidence Blake usually has by the bucketful, where I’m usually flailing about, far from being in control of my emotions.
Deep breath in. Deep one out.
“Because I had to tell you something in person.”
“You said that before,” he acknowledges.
“I did.”
We contemplate each other, the tension hanging between us like a veil between worlds, heavy and thick. Like there’s glimpses of our shapes behind the curtains, but we’re caught in them, struggling to break free from their confines.
“I’m in love with you,” I say softly, at last letting the emotion out in my voice, because I can’t keep that in. I’ve gone this far. May as well say it all. There’s nothing to lose, and if I’m lucky—very lucky—there might be everything to gain. “And, well, I couldn’t live with myself without telling you. I know that the strong odds are you don’t want me, but I need to tell you anyway. Rather than stuffing it away and never saying it. Even if you don’t feel that way about me—”
Blake comes close, so close I can hear the softness of his breath. His eyes are bright with tears. Hesitating only for a moment, he slides his arms around me and draws me into a kiss that I can only describe as heated, leaving me reeling, and thank God his arms are around me, because I could fall over, and if this is the last kiss I get, it’s going to count for something—
Finally, he breaks away, expression raw. Vulnerable. “I love you too, Aubrey. More than words can say.”
“Oh God,” I choke out, my hands covering my mouth.
Words I never actually expected him to say. A feeling I couldn’t believe I let myself feel, then give voice to it—and have it reciprocated? Is this a dream?
I grab him tight for another kiss, and he presses me against the door of Barnes Books, against the glass front with the sign flipped toclosed. We kiss like nothing we’ve done before, leaving me hot and shivering and overwhelmed.
“I missed you,” he breathes against my ear, holding me tight, leaning his head against mine. “So much.”
“I missed you too.”
I laugh and cry a little, and he does the same as we consider each other, both with eyes too wet and emotions too raw.
“But,” I whisper. “Feelings…feelings are brilliant. But reality’s quite another thing altogether. I hate to mention that. Like, you being from America. Me being from here. The paparazzi. Your career. My damn shop.”
A million reasons why this is impossible. We’re so different. How on earth did this even happen? Of all the very unlikely things.
Finally, Blake straightens. “You made me feel things that I didn’t think I was capable of. And made me question everything, to figure out what matters.”
“Blake, I don’t want to cause problems for you with your family—”
His face is mostly in shadow. Hard to read, but he holds up a hand. “And yes, I love my family. But my sisters are right. I can…well, I can love you and love them. Even if Dad doesn’t understand. Call me an optimist, but maybe…one day he will.”
“You talked with him?” I dare ask, my gut in knots. “I was thinking of you and wondering if you spoke.”
“I did.” He takes a shuddering breath. I slip his hand into mine.
“I’m sorry it’s difficult with your father,” I say softly, searching his eyes. “I know your family means the world to you. More than.”
