“He left me for our best friend, Ryan.” I do my best to keep my voice calm and even. There’s no giveaway waver, or telltale pause. “Eli—you met him, that day in the shop, after you sent the flowers. He just lives up the road. We’re trying to be friends but it’s not always easy.”
Facts. Just facts.
Blake gasps slightly with the surprise. “Oh no, I’m so sorry.”
“It was over a year ago, so I’ve had some time to get used to it,” I tell Blake with a sigh. It’s not quite forlorn, but it’s real, and carries weight. “It wasn’t easy to get over, since we were together so long.”
A separation I never wanted.
“Still…” Blake frowns. “That’s really tough. Like, a double betrayal. Losing your partner and your friend.”
Uncomfortable, I shift and inspect my fingernails. I’ve started chewing them again lately. Not an attractive habit. I try to hide my hands instead.
“It’s complicated. And…we changed. I mean, we were together since we were sixteen. So we didn’t know what it was like to date someone else as an adult,” I try to reason. “But, yeah. Ryan was my friend first, and then he became our friend. A couple of years ago, more now, he was hit by a car on his bike. We both helped him out after, while he got used to life in a wheelchair when he couldn’t walk anymore. Then, I guess things developed between them. I mean, obviously they did. And I moved out and Ryan eventually moved into Eli’s flat. And to be fully honest, moving on’s been rough.”
He looks at me in a wry way that makes me swallow hard, like he’s seeing right into the core of me.
“Anyway, that’s history,” I say awkwardly. “And…here I am. In a stockroom.” I wave a hand around. “The pro is I have plenty of things to read.”
Blake takes my hand, overturns it to trace the heart tattoo before kissing it again, like I’m someone special to be fawned over. If only. I gaze at him as goose bumps track up my arms.
Blake considers me. “So I guess you live with a lot of ghosts.”
“Guess I do, yeah.”
We’re quiet for a long time. Trust Eli to be a conversation killer.
Blake shifts, lost in his own thoughts.
“What’re you thinking?” I ask at last.
“About my own ghosts,” he confesses with a sigh. “We all have them. I mean, a couple of my ghosts are exes too.”
I trace his arm as I listen.
Blake shakes his head. “I had a long-term boyfriend who left me to go back to his ex. And, well, it hurt. I couldn’t live up to whatever they had, I guess. It felt like he was living more in an idealized past than the present, you know?”
“I’m really sorry.”
“Thanks.” He squeezes my hand, gazing tentatively at me. “I was cheated on a couple of times. Once was bad enough. The second time, with another boyfriend, I was sure I was cursed. That there was something wrong with me.”
It’s hard to imagine Blake going through something like that, when he seems so together. Who wouldn’t want Blake? I wouldn’t say he’s perfect, because no one is, and that’s a lot of expectation to live up to, but he’s sexy and funny and kind. And the way he looks at me is a way I never thought anyone might look at me again.
“I promise things are over with Eli,” I say softly to him. “I wouldn’t dream of cheating on you. Or anyone.”
He swallows hard, his expression momentarily raw before he smooths it over again. “’Kay. You’re sure? ’Cause… Well, I really like you a lot, Aubrey. Even if it hasn’t been that long. If…if it doesn’t work out between us for whatever reason, please be upfront with me.”
“I will.” I hold his gaze. It’s hard to breathe when he looks at me like that, so vulnerable. And with longing too. Like we’re not together for a handful of days before reality takes over again and he has to go home. But, maybe we can figure out this long-distance thing. Maybe that’s a thing people do. “I want you.”
“I want you too,” Blake murmurs.
And again we’re lost in each other, kissing with reverence.
“You’re brilliant.” I gaze tenderly at Blake. Imagine a couple of weeks ago, my life pre-Blake, pre-filming and rom-coms. What a dark time. Now, it’s like I’ve got hope again.
“So are you. From what I’ve seen.”
“You hardly know me,” I murmur teasingly.
