Loved. Owned. Lore had told Nyxara not to confuse them, that they weren’t the same thing. And they still weren’t. But the selfish part of her, the terrible part, understood how they might feel the same. That part of her could think of Gabe and Bastian and understand perfectly.
“I can’t find Him.”
Dani’s voice made her jump. Instinctually, Lore moved in front of the Fount, hiding the piece she’d brought home. “What do you mean?”
“What do you think I mean?” Dani’s face was blank, but the kind of blankness that came from exhaustion and defeat, not the absence of emotion. “He isn’t fuckinghere.”
In the memory of the Godsfall, Apollius and Nyxara had been somewhere dark, somewhere not the cathedral. Maybe He was still there. Lore almost wanted to curse the dead goddess for not having better memories of the place, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to think of Nyxara with animosity yet.
Still hiding the Fount with her body, Lore stood. “Let’s look again. Maybe you missed something.” The dark place she’d seen could have been somewhere deep in the bowels of the cathedral, hidden beneath rubble.
“I’m telling you, He isn’t in there.” Dani threw up her hands. “But why not? Sure, let’s take a second look. Maybe your magic will be useful.”
She waited until the other woman had her back turned and was halfway into the shadows before following.
The remains of the cathedral were more extensive than theylooked from the outside. A labyrinth of empty rooms, open roofs, and broken walls, the crumbled leftovers of gilded stone and solid oak. Past the courtyard that held the Fount, there was a large open atrium, with rooms leading one into the other arranged around it.
The ceiling of the atrium had the largest hole, broken beams as sharp as bones. Lore’s body remembered injuries she’d never suffered. Being thrown through this roof, her back hitting these tiles.
Dani led her deeper into the ruins, climbing over broken stone and fallen walls. The thick ash that blocked most of the sun kept plant life from flourishing, but some hardy moss blanketed parts of the floor, and a few night-blooming flowers that didn’t mind the dark grew in the corners. Nightshade. Moonflower.
Lore kept an eye to the floor, looking for trapdoors or changes that might indicate a hidden staircase. She didn’t see any, and most of the rubble was too heavy to move for a closer look. When they reached a room with surprisingly little damage other than a beam from a hole in the roof, she braced her hands on one end of it, just to check. “Help me move this.”
To her credit, Dani didn’t ask why. With a heave, they pulled the beam away from the floor and hauled it over to the wall.
Nothing beneath but broken tiles.
“If you’re looking for a lower floor, I’ve already checked,” Dani said. “There’s none that I can find. Do you believe me now?”
“Yes.” Lore’s shoulders slumped. Apollius’s body could be anywhere on this damn island.
“We’ll have to widen our scope.” Dani propped her fists on her hips, looking at the cathedral like she could very happily set it aflame. “Divide up the island, search through a different part of it every day. Surely, He won’t be that hard to find.”
The words were false, a reassurance neither of them believed. If anything was going to be hard to find, it would be the body of a god who jealously hoarded His deaths.
“You’re right.” Lore sighed. “But it’s getting dark. We’ll have to start tomorrow, if we don’t want to accidentally plummet off a cliff.”
Dani nodded. “I’m sleeping on the boat. You coming?”
But Lore was already shaking her head. She’d stay here.
With a raised brow, the erstwhile noblewoman left the room.
Lore lingered a moment. All the awe she hadn’t had time to feel when they first arrived washed over her now, not in worship but in dread. Here was the birthplace of the world’s religion, and if she was successful, here would be its grave.
The Fount sang in her head, soft and lilting.
With another sigh, she clambered her way out of the cathedral.
In the courtyard, Dani crouched by the Fount. Right where Lore had replaced the stone.
Spiritum rushed to Lore’s hands immediately, golden threads tethering her to the other woman. Dani tensed but didn’t turn, continuing her examination of the moon-carved stone, careful not to touch.
“Do it, if you’re going to.” Her voice was low, but it carried here, where they were the only two living beings for miles.
She should. She didn’t.
Though something in her, a glimmering nudge in that space where Nyxara used to be, raged at her for it.
