“None of us were in the dark.” He’d managed a smile. “I’m happy for you. Truly.”
Malcolm smiled back, though it was tinged with something like pity. “I know it’s hard. To see people with the person… the people… they care about, when you…”
“When I can’t,” Gabe said quietly. “With either of them.”
It was the first time he’d admitted aloud that Lore wasn’t the sole person he missed. But apparently, Malcolm wasn’t the only one who was bad at hiding his feelings.
He’d clapped Gabe on the shoulder, not knowing what else to say.
Outside the barn, Gabe leaned against the wall, splinters scraggling into his hair.
His only options for the rest of the day before another meeting tonight were to wander the market square or go to a tavern. Despite his feelings toward Caldienan beer, the tavern won.
A fog of smoke hovered around the door as he pushed it open, seething from the ends of cigarettes held in rough fingers. The smell reminded him of Bastian.
Gabe sat down at a small table in the corner with his back to the wall. When the bar girl came, a pretty thing with brown eyes and a quick smile, he asked for beer, hopeful that this establishment had better brew than the one the other night.
When the bar girl moved aside, Finn was behind her.
The man sat down without waiting for an invitation, giving Gabe a halfhearted toast with his stein. “So you couldn’t stomach another evening at the boardinghouse, either? I can’t stand the place.”
Finn lived in the same house where they did now. Yet another lovely surprise.
The other man took a drink. “Though I suppose you have somewhere to be tonight, so it would only be for a couple hours, anyway.”
“You mean you don’t?” He didn’t recall seeing Finn when the Brothers removed their hoods at the last meeting, but he also hadn’t been looking closely. It’d make sense for him to be a member.
“Hells no.” Finn tossed back the rest of his pint and signaled to the girl at the bar for another. “Never been interested in religion, myself. Though you certainly make it hard for one to be an atheist, what with your”—he swirled his hand in Gabe’s direction—“affliction.”
The bar girl brought their orders. Gabe drained his stein and made a face. It seemed every tavern in Farramark carried the same kegs, and this draught had been pulled from the bottom.
Finn grinned. “So you know that I know. And you don’t care?”
“Frankly, I don’t care about anything having to do with you.”
“Ouch.” But Finn’s smile only widened.
The barmaid brought him another. Gabe sipped it this time, rather than throwing it back. The taste did not improve. “And I assume you’ve known for a while. Eoin told us about your spying.”
“I am rather good at it.” Finn stretched his legs beneath the table and clasped his hands behind his head. “I could give you some pointers. I was told you and the erstwhile Queen made a pair of piss-poor spies.”
Gabe gritted his teeth and took another sip of bad beer.
“I did want to apologize, though.” The thorny grin was gone; Finn almost looked genuine. It made him look more like Bastian, and made Gabe’s teeth grind harder. “I know you wanted to keep what you are a secret.”
“And why, exactly, didn’t you let us?” Heat built in Gabe’s fingers again. If he lifted them from the table, he feared he might leave scorch marks.
“Because,” Finn said, “it would be selfish of you.”
Of all the answers he could have given, Gabe certainly hadn’t expected that one.
Finn leaned forward, elbows on the table, demeanor sobering. “You have the power of a god. And from what I’ve gathered, you are only interested in getting rid of it. While another god does whatever the fuck He wants, the rest of the world be damned. You think armies can stand up to Him? Mortal men?” He shook his head. “No. If Apollius is going to be stopped, it’s going to take something as powerful as He is.”
“I’m not that powerful,” Gabe said. “None of us are.”
“Well, you’re closer than anyone else.” Finn sat back, took another drink. “And everything Eoin promised you in exchange for your little magic shows is sure to piss off Apollius, so you’d better be ready to use it.”
“You seem awfully eager for war.”
