Hestraon sounded contemplative, looking out from Gabe’s eyes. When Gabe’s hand rose again, it was under the god’s direction, not his own. Hestraon gently brushed Bastian’s hair from his forehead.
Not in appearance, and not in heart, Hestraon said.This one is softer. More yielding. More willing to admit love, not seeing it as weakness.A pause.He sees you as an equal, not a possession. Not ranked by your power.
Gabe pushed at the fire god, tried to tuck Him back into his mind.
But there is no way to know if that will hold.
“Get the fuck out,” Gabe growled.
Hestraon didn’t go, but He did cede bodily control. Sweat dotted Gabe’s brow.
He extracted himself from under Bastian slowly, trying not to wake him up. A moot point; it seemed like Bastian would sleep the whole day away, were he allowed. Gabe would physically fight anyone who tried to rouse him.
With a kiss on Bastian’s stubble-rough cheek, he was up, pulling the same shirt he’d worn yesterday over his head. He hadn’t had time to pack anything, not when leaving Caldien, not when leaving Auverraine. He supposed he should be grateful that his clothes didn’t disintegrate when he left Finn’s ship, reducing himself down to ribbons of flame, seeping into the atmosphere to rush to the Citadel.
He’d known what would happen if he did that again. Weighed the consequences and decided he could live with them. Even now, Hestraon’s presence didn’t incite fear. Just wariness and an expanding of consciousness, every facet of the world standing out in brilliant detail.
Jax’s ship was unexpectedly utilitarian. There was only one cabin space, filled with more bunks than they needed. All of them that had been occupied last night were rumpled to the point where Gabe couldn’t tell if someone was in them or not. Gabe had specifically chosen one in the middle, so he could be between all of them.
He’d thought Bastian would sleep in the one nearest his head, before the other man made it clear he planned to sleep as close to Gabe as humanly possible. Lilia slept in the one at his feet, pale hair spilling over the side, so unlike Lore’s.
He didn’t know what to make of Lore’s mother. He’d thoughtof her as a ghost story, a heretic, a villain. She was all of those things, certainly. He didn’t trust her.
But she was here. And he respected that. Even if he wouldn’t hesitate to light her on fire at the barest hint that she would bring harm to Lore.
The sun had fully risen, beating down on the deck. Gabe hadn’t noticed just how much the ash of the Burnt Isles had shielded them before. Now that it was gone, he felt his skin reddening the moment he stepped out of the shade.
Malcolm stood at the prow, yawning. A crewman steered the ship, hands held stiffly. He kept looking at them, almost fearful.
Gabe glowered. He didn’t mind being feared.
“Where’s Jax?” Gabe asked as he approaching the railing. He hadn’t seen him in the hold, and he didn’t like not keeping a constant visual on the Emperor.
Malcolm shrugged, still yawning. He eyed Gabe warily, as if searching for the god in his form. “Figured he was still asleep.”
“He isn’t down there.” Unease prickled along his shoulder blades. “Is Alie awake?”
Malcolm jerked a thumb behind him. “I don’t know how long she’s been up. Had to be early, though.”
Frowning, Gabe turned away and headed toward his former betrothed.
Alie was still as a ghost and just as quiet. Dressed in the same gown she’d worn yesterday, she shivered next to the railing, not touching it, just staring out at the waves.
He came up beside her. Cleared his throat. “Alie.”
She nodded. That was the only acknowledgment of his presence.
“Are you all right?” he asked inanely, after heartbeats of silence.
She scoffed. “No.”
Gabe wasn’t sure how to move here. He cared for Alie—always had, always would—and that caring had gone through manyiterations, fluid and changing. Though there was no romance there, he still didn’t like the idea of her with Jax. And she hadn’t done a very good job of trying to hide her growing affection for him.
Still, who Alie decided to be with wasn’t his call. But if Jax had hurt her, he would set the bastard on fire.
That seemed to be the solution presenting itself for every problem, lately.
He gripped the rail with both hands. “Alie, we all just want you to be happy. And if that happiness is with… him… then I will try to find a way to live with it.” He paused, then added a caveat. “Provided that he stops, you know, trying to conquer the known world.”