She nodded slowly. "That's why his room was warded by more than just Keir. I hoped he would learn, and we all tried to teach him to consider others, but not everyone is good. That doesn't necessarily mean they're bad either."
"They're just fae," I said, nodding to show I understood. "That isn't an excuse for rape, though."
"But in a society that believes the stronger deserve to do what they want to the weaker?" She hummed softly. "Taking what one wants is considered normal. Here, we're trying to teach them other options."
"To be a little human," I realized.
"Exactly, because while the stories of us have been passed down through the centuries, the stories of you have as well, on Faerie. Noble and unstoppable warriors clad in a poison called iron. Beautiful monsters who seduce and kill. Creatures from nightmares who have no fear."
"But I have fear," I countered.
"Oh, I'm sure the knights and soldiers in our lore did as well, but that's the thing about humans. You might be scared senseless, but it doesn't stop you." She reached over to nudge the stone even closer. "Rain, itdidn'tstop you. You fought hard, thinking quickly in the moment, and Aspen is alive because of it."
"But Fin isn't," I countered. "Ms. Rhodes - "
"Ivy," she told me. "Rain, you are the Morrigan. I am a mere headmistress at a fae school. I promise I will not be offended if you call me by my chosen name."
"I picked," I told her. "I saw Fin being carried away, and the Huntsman had already let go of her, but I still picked!"
"We all pick," she assured me. "It's how we choose sides."
"But Fin was fae. It's not like he was a hunter!"
"And Aspen is dear to you," she pointed out. "A man who didn't care who he hurt, or a girl you truly care about. Those are sides, and it is ok to value people in your life, Rain. If the Huntsman came for me and Liam, I would be horrified if you didn't pick your own father! It's called love, and whether that's family, friends, or anything else, it still means more than all the magic in the world."
I nodded, because I knew she was right. I did, I just hated it. "I want to be strong enough to never need to pick again."
"Then keep pushing shadows into that pendant," she told me. "When the glow is itself a shadow, you'll be ready to learn more."
And I smiled. "Did you just challenge me, Ivy?"
"Yes, Rain. I did. I also think you're going to prove you're up to it."
Chapter Twenty-Seven
KEIR
When Bracken had knocked at Torian's door, I was sure we were all about to get busted. Instead, he wanted to know if we'd had the necessary potions. Since a teacher had come around hours earlier, we had. None of us would dream, all of us had been given nectar to replace the magic we'd burned, and Aspen had asked for something to push back the fear.
It helped. When Torian informed Bracken I'd be using the other suite for the night, I was shocked - and appreciative. He hadn't asked. I'd assumed Wilder or Hawke would use that space, but they insisted their rooms were right next door.
Technically, mine wasn't much further than that, yet I dreaded going in there. I avoided it as long as I could, sleeping in the strange bed, waking up late, and ignoring my classes, then heading to the lounge area after lunch. But eventually, I couldn't avoid it anymore.
My key unlocked the door to my room, but inside there was an odd silence. A dead one. I paused to let it wash over me, then put my things aside. Finding clean clothes, I set those in the bathroom, but I couldn't help myself.
Cracking the door to Fin's room, I found his usual mess strewn about. Dirty clothes were on the floor. Empty wrappers were on the bedside table. Cups, scattered papers, and ignored books filled most other surfaces, but he wasn't here.
And it hurt.
I couldn't understand why, though. I hadn't really liked the guy! Ok, we'd known each other well enough to trade a few jokes, but that was it. Mostly, he bitched at me about one thing or another. Sometimes he yelled because I'd stopped him once again. It didn't matter if that was with a girl, picking on the younger students, or anything else.
Finley Atwood had been a bully. From the first day of our first class back in eleventh grade, I'd known that. He'd immediately found a Legacy student and lashed out, making the boy feel as worthless as only Fin could.
Back then, I hadn't stopped him. I'd avoided him, thinking it wasn't my problem. When he'd used his enticement abilities to manipulate people around me, I'd strengthened my own protections. When he'd started minorly manipulating the girls, I'd done my best to not be around. Not until I found that first boy crying outside, thinking he was alone.
Bullying wasn't something I'd ever had to deal with. Growing up, I'd been one of the cool kids. Even my mistakes - some of which had nearly exposed what I was - had been considered inspirational to my peers. Being attractive meant even my flaws were seen as appealing, but that was based only on my exterior. I wanted to be more than skin-deep.
And when I'd come to Silver Oaks Institute, I'd no longer been the hottest guy around. Nope, I was now one of a few hundred beautiful people. We all had high cheekbones. It was a fae trait. We all were tall, elegant, and symmetrical. Suddenly, all the things I'd tied with beauty were normal, and all the things previously normal were now interesting.
