"Wedid," she pointed out. "Torian and I ran out there knowing they were here. He said I should just let him handle it."
"Oh, so it's ok for him to go out into that, but not you?" I asked. "Aspen, that's not ok!"
"Yeah but - " She stopped hard, then groaned. "It's complicated."
"Which means we just hit the part you can't talk about," I realized. "But look, just because he's called a monster doesn't mean he's disposable!"
"That's what I've been saying!" she said, sounding almost relieved. "Well, I can see both sides, but I agree. If I have to stay inside, then he should too, but you need power, and until you learn how to stop wasting so much - "
"I'm wasting it?" I asked.
She grimaced. "Yeah. Like, a lot."
"Fuck!"
"No, this is how we all learn," she hurried to say. "It's normal, and Ms. Rhodes is trying to teach you. I think that's why she gave you the stone. And um, Hawke's kinda doing a thing with it, so when you can't find it, don't say anything, ok? Like, just forget about it for a day or two?"
I chuckled. "What's he doing?"
"It's something to impress a girl," she said with a wink, "and maybe to make it clear Keir isn't the only hot guy around."
"Wait, you like Hawke too?" I made a production of gaping at her in mock-shock.
"No!" she groaned. "No, Hawke and I are just friends." Then she paused as my words sank in. "Keir likes Hawke?"
I rocked my head from side to side. "I'm not sure. As a friend, yes. Hawke thinks Wilder should make a move on Keir - and I think that'd be cute, but it's pretty much the extent of my knowledge about inner court politics."
"That is not politics," she teased.
"It's the kind I like worrying about."
She laughed. "Yeah, me too. The rest of this is bullshit. I didn't ask to have Winter magic! I can't help it, and yet everyone acts like I'm the reason their parents ran to Earth! No, not the Mad Queen. Never her killing people like we don't even matter. Fuck, the woman attacked children, Rain!"
"And Torian was one of them," I said.
She jerked, giving me a worried look. "What?"
"He said she trained him," I explained. "Hawke hinted that it was bad. I mean, kings on Earth used to keep wild animals as trophies and things to brag about. Lions doing tricks and shit, right? I figured on Faerie it wasn't much different, just that the wild things happen to be people instead of animals."
Aspen let go of me and stepped back. "On Faerie, the monarchs have complete power. That also means they're supposed to have complete responsibility. It doesn't always work that way, though, and too many times they become monsters instead. And yes, I said that word. They are monsters, and the way magic works? Rain, the more we have, the more we're supposed to do, and I don't want any part of that. I just want you! I wantthis!I want to finally be able to be happy now that I've found my brother, and my friends, and, I dunno, my tribe, I guess?"
"And we will never leave you," I swore.
She scoffed. "It's not that easy, Rain. There are still things about us you don't know. I mean, what if I was a medusa? If I removed the glamour and could kill you by accident? That's why it matters, don't you see? On Earth, things are so simple, but there? It's fucking hell, and every reason I had to be there is gone, so fuck it! I just want to be here, with you, and I can't because the Hunt is after me now!"
"But we found the thing," I reminded her.
"And Harper - or her mother - put the Hunt sign out once. What happens if they do something worse the next time? They hate me, Rain. They hate me just because my magic is white! That was all it took, and I can't stop it!"
"I don't care." I caught both sides of her face and stepped close. "Aspen, nothing they do will ever chase me away. I mean, I think I'm in love with you, and I'm convinced you are absolutely perfect. I like Keir and Hawke. I want to kick your brother in the nuts sometimes, but Wilder's cool as hell. So, I mean, that means this is worth it, right? Fuck what anyone else thinks. We can do things our own way!"
"What?" she breathed, but I was pretty sure she hadn't heard all my good points. "Oh my god, Rain, I love you too!"
Those words hit me hard. I hadn't expected to hear them, yet there was only one thing I could do: I leaned in and kissed her. The feel of her lips somehow made everything else feel unimportant. The way she kissed back was tender and sensual. My hands wanted to slide downwards and pull her closer, but now was not the time.
"You do?" I breathed against her lips, refusing to back up.
"I have for weeks," she admitted. "I was just too scared to say it first."
