"I can be deaf and blind when I need to," I assured him, "but I'm not going back."
Wilder nodded once. "Then I'm offering to help you put things where they belong - and to stay until that far door in the bathroom doesn't haunt you as much."
Those words. He'd hit the nail on the head, and my shoulders slumped. "That obvious, huh?"
"Keir," he said, entering my room so he could dump the things on my desk and close the door for privacy. "I don't know how to break this to you, but not even Torian could handle it if the situation was reversed. Fin's dead, and that's a lot to deal with. Here's the thing." He ducked his head to meet my eyes. "I'm here offering to make sure you never have to do it alone."
I scoffed. "Did you miss the memo that your supreme dick of a pal just kicked me off the court?"
Wilder's lips curled, then split into a smile, and a rich, beautiful rumble of a laugh began to bubble out. "Torian? Yeah, I like how you assume I give a shit what he thinks. In case you didn't realize it, I'm in the court because Hawke stood up for me and Aspen needed a friend. Hawke's in the court because someone has to keep Torian in line. Aspen's there because she's family, but she and Hawke were instant friends." He jerked his chin at me. "And she likes you too. So does Rain, and I'm pretty sureshe'snot worried about Torian's opinion atall."
"Yeah, but I was starting to like Hawke's friendship," I countered. "Pretty sure he'll pick his bestie over me."
Wilder murmured as if I wasn't quite right. "I think he'd try to change Torian's mind. Here's the thing: if there's anyone in the world Torian will listen to? It's Aspen and Hawke. And yeah, Hawke thinks of you as a friend. A dear one."
I nodded, letting that all sink in. Still not sure - because shit like this was never simple - I turned to start separating books from clothing.
"You know what sucks the most about this?" I asked after a little too long. "I'm the college student here. You four are just AP kids. You're supposed to be desperate for my attention, and instead you're..."
"Used to being let down by the people we respect?" Wilder offered when I paused for too long. "Or maybe braced for betrayal? Anxious about those we don't know well? Aware the things that bond us together could also be used to tear us far apart and make sure we stay there?"
My hands stilled. "I don't think you're supposed to tell me that."
"Mm, my promise was different than theirs," he said. "When I arrived here, Ivy made me aware of the problems of my station. She made me promise not to reveal the secrets of anyoneelsefrom Faerie, because the culture on Earth is nothing like the society I knew on Faerie. In my opinion, that's a good thing, since everyone I knew was hunted like a fucking criminal, and most were executed."
"I'm sorry," I said as I turned.
Wilder nodded slowly. "Yeah, but it's why I understand the weight of that room. I get it, Keir. I know what it's like to have a complete stranger suddenly gone, but their bedroll still beside mine. To have just learned her name. We had a small conversation about what Earth might be like, and then she was simply gone."
"The Hunt?" I asked.
"No," he said sadly. "The Queen's guard. She was the last of her line. That's all I knew, and now I can't even remember which line. There's so many gone that it doesn't matter anymore. They all just blend together."
"And yet here you are," I said. "A duke offering sympathy to a mere peasant who's never seen our world. Why do you even care? They were your friends first, and I get that."
"But you were my friend next," he countered, "and guys like me don't have many. As for the title? What good does it do? What does it even mean, Keir? I'm an orphan in a strange world, trying to get by. I'm not any different from you, except that you think of this place as home, and I wish I could."
So I offered him my hand. "Then I'm glad to have you, Wilder. Regardless of the color of your magic, the friends you keep, or any titles we will never worry about. I'm glad you made it so I could meet a man I can respect."
He clasped my palm for a moment, but looked away. "Now that is worth facing Torian's wrath." Then he scooped up the things he'd dropped on the desk and carried them to the bed to help sort. "You should also know Hawke's currently handling the mess you left behind."
"Well, you should know the shield in there will fade in color soon, but not power. If Aspen or Torian snap, it should hold their magic in."
Wilder's entire body heaved with surprise. "What?"
"He fucking shot lightning at me!"
"Pretty sure that wasn't intentional."
I shrugged. "Either way, it's the sort of magical accident that coulddestroy this place. A shield is easier than the wards I had up to keep Fin from mind-controlling some girl."
"Always girls?" he asked.
I nodded. "Guess it's either the human ancestry or the culture, but most of the faelings do have a preference. Maybe not to the exclusion of the other genders, but they tend to lean towards one or the other."
"Interesting..." Wilder said. "So how long can you keep that shield in place?"
"Forever."
