"Is he?" I asked.
Hawke just stared at me, almost as if he was looking straight through my soul. "My friend's secrets are his own."
"But a jevadu?" I asked. "There's no way."
"Nothing wrong with jevadu," Hawke countered. "Just like there's nothing wrong with Jack or Rain."
"Well, ok," I admitted, seeing his point. "But jevadu kill people."
"So would Jack and Rain."
I stood there like an idiot as his point slammed into my mind. And still, I had to make one last rebuttal. "Hawke, they're not sidhe. Jevadu are predators. They're nothing like us. Shouldn't they have their own school or something? I mean, what if he fed on someone!"
"Torian has no reason to feed on anyone," Hawke assured me, "so don't worry about him."
I paused, scanning Hawke's face for some hint of the truth he was using. I knew there was an evasion there, but not where it was.
"So he's not a jevadu?" I pressed. "Fuck off is an acceptable answer."
Finally, Hawke relaxed. "Fuck off."
"Ok." I agreed without any hard feelings. "Just tell me one thing? Reassure me that the court would never allow a jevadu to kill anyone I care about?"
"Who do you care about?" he countered.
"Rain, me, most of the people on the court, Ms. Rhodes, Bracken, Liam, and Pascal."
"Yeah, then you're safe," Hawke assured me. "Can't imagine why any of them would fuck with us, and there's no reason for a jevadu to mess with anyone who isn't a problem. See, that's how wildlings work, Keir. You know, the exact same way sidhe do."
Yeah, he had a good point, but I'd never lived in Faerie. I didn't exactly have experience with wildlings - except Jack. In my opinion, Rain didn't count. She was completely human, even if her magic was Wild. And yet, the way Hawke had answered made me realize that regardless of what Torian was - or his insane magical abilities - he was still a person. He was still someone I'd like to call a friend.
So it didn't matterwhathe was. In truth, it didn't matter what any ofus were. Hawke could be the fucking heir to the Winter throne for all I knew - his magic was ambiguous enough - and that didn't make him a bad guy. Then again, it would kinda explain why he avoided discussing his past on Faerie. What it didn't explain was why none of the others would either.
But people had secrets. It didn't matter what kind of a person they were, no one wanted to show their vulnerabilities to anyone they didn't trust. I understood, because I wasn't any different. In truth, that was how I'd ended up here, mixed up with the court. When a girl had dumped me for a "better" fae guy, it had hurt. When she'd made it clear it was because my magic sucked?
I didn't cry about it, though. That would be showing too much - telling strangers my vulnerabilities, in a way. And maybe I was a little sensitive about my fucked-up magic. It was normal for kids to dream about manifesting the type of power Torian took for granted. And yet, for the first time, I was starting to realize it wasn't necessarily a good thing. With that much power came just as much fear of it.
Defensive Combat was when Rain showed up. The period after that, Bracken separated us, forcing us to practice with someone new. And when the rest of the students were excused for the day, Hawke, Rain, and I met in the weapons closet. While Hawke focused on stopping two opponents, I made sure Rain knew I'd follow her lead - and focused on learning to actuallyfollow.
We were hot and sweaty messes by the time Rain's detention class was over. Grabbing our coats - and Jack - we headed back. Without even asking, Hawke and I aimed for the girls' side entrance, making sure Rain made it safely to the elevator. But as we walked around the atrium to get to our side, the guy surprised me.
"So Wilder's up in Torian's suite, keeping an eye on Aspen. Wanna come hang with us?"
I thought about it for all of half a second. "Sure. Sounds good."
"Not going to ask why?" Hawke wanted to know.
I shrugged. "Ok, Hawke. Why do you want me to hang?"
He laughed. "I meant why Wilder's babysitting."
"Yeah, that was obvious to me at lunch," I assured him. "Aspen has never had much control of her magic, which is forcing Torian to do something, and it's straining his own control. Wilder's there to help with shields or nullification, right?"
"Close enough," Hawke assured me as he pressed the button to call the elevator. "The details are wrong, but the concept is right."
The thing opened, but I didn't enter. Instead, I grabbed the edge, keeping it from shutting again. "I just want to know why there's a line? You're fucking hinting, but you also make it clear you won't tell me."
"Can't," Hawke said as he walked on. "Downside of promises, man. Think of it more as doing my best not to leave my new friend in the dark, ok?"
