"Just tell me you're not in love with me now or something?"
And the smallest giggle broke free. "No, I mean..." She grimaced. "Keir, that was so bad!"
"I know!" I agreed in relief. "Aspen, I don't know how to break this to you, but either you really aren't into me, or you just don't like men at all."
"But you're cute!" she said.
"And still a man."
"Yeah, that was... I mean, no offense, but that's gross. You're all clunky and massive. Not sexy!"
"And you kiss weird," I teased, heading over to flop down on her bed. "It's like you don't know where to put your hands, and your lips don't work with mine."
"Because they're big honkin' man lips!" she laughed, tossing herself down so she was lying diagonally with her head on my chest and her face looking up at the ceiling. "And your hands are huge! But I understand what Rain was saying now."
"Which part?" I asked.
"About how men take when they kiss. You definitely demand, and it's weird." She turned her head so she could see me. "Not my thing."
"So I know just how we can fix this," I said. "How about we never kiss again unless you need a pretend boyfriend or something? I mean, I can fake it, and I can certainly pretend I have two girlfriends if that makes the whole room thing easier, but I'm pretty sure we're just buds, right?"
"Buds works for me," she said with a smile. But then she sighed, turning to look at the ceiling again. "And Keir?"
"Mm?"
"I like you more for making me not feel weird about that. It's not the sort of thing most people would do."
I shifted my arm so my hand could rest safely on her stomach. "Aspen, is there a sort of tree that would grow well in a dorm room? Something shorter, so it's not being crushed, and maybe it could have flowers that smell good, or even leaves?"
"Yeah, there's a lot like that," she assured me. "Just depends on what kind of tricks you're willing to deal with. I mean - " Sucking in a breath, she sat up and twisted to look at me. "There's one that makes lube!"
"What?" I couldn't believe that.
"I mean, it's a slick, water-based slime the plant uses as a sap. When a leaf breaks, it oozes out, but in the courts, it was everywhere, so no one needed to ask for supplies, you know?"
I nodded, tugging her back down so she was lying on me again. "It would be cool to have one of those. You know, just in case my friends need it or something."
But she looked over at me again. "There's this feeling in my head, Keir. It's like, this desire to touch you. When you said that the other day, I started thinking that maybe Rain had a point, right? Maybe it was Tor's mind making me avoid guys."
"Which makes sense," I agreed.
"But it's just you," she said. "Not all guys. Not even all pretty guys. It'sjustyou, and it's wrapped up in fear and anxiety. Like this daydream that would ruin everything, but I think that's just normal insecurity."
"Aspen, what are you saying?"
And she smiled. "That if I don't like you, someone in my head definitely does. I just think he won't make the first move."
"I'm not pushing myself on anyone."
But her piercing gaze held me, trapping me in some way. "You should," she finally said. "I can't think of anyone else who wouldn't take advantage of that. I'm also sure you won't. Keir, that's why you belong in the court. You may not have been to Faerie, but I trust you. I trust you as much as I trust them."
I had to wrench my eyes away because her words hit me hard. "So you know, that? It more than makes up for the weird kiss. No plant necessary, Asp."
"I'm still getting you a plant," she told me. "But not as payment. Think of it more as a request."
"Then if anything happens, I'll tell you first."
She turned a bit, almost snuggling into me. "Keir, if anything happens, I'll already know."
