And I shoved out a heavy breath before glancing at the wall. "I don't really know."
"Give me a little more than that?"
My shadow was normal, so I turned to look at the dean again. "Tag said the Children of the Exodus call themselves The Silent, but I've never heard them use it."
"They do," Ms. Rhodes assured me, looking a little confused at my change in subject.
Yet I had a point with all of this. "Ok, but do all of them use it? Or could it be more that some of our terrorists are the elite of the Children of the Exodus? I don't know, like the assassins of the group? Their terrorist supercell? Or maybe The Silent just end up as Children of the Exodus for some unrelated reason? I'm not even sure what analogy would be right, but I'm guessing most of the kids at that table aren't ready to commit murder at the drop of a hat."
"We can't be sure of that," she pointed out. "A girl hit Aspen over the head with a tablet, Rain. She'd never caused a problem before."
"And she used atablet," I repeated. "That's not exactly the most lethal weapon. To me, it seemed more like the sort of shit Harper pulled. Bullying, or trying to make herself look tough, like she fit in, or something else. Cracking Aspen's skull with a school-issued tablet's just weird all the way around - and nothing like crushing a girl and hanging her in a tree with magic."
"Vines," Ms. Rhodes corrected, "but likely magical ones, so your point stands."
"But what if the terrorists are a subset of the Children of the Exodus?" I asked. "I mean, look at the Amish. They keep to themselves, have their own communities, and do things differently. That doesn't make them evil, right? Most people don't hear 'Amish' and think 'dangerous.' But when we talk about Muslims, there's always that whole terrorism thing hanging over all of them. Not because all Muslims are terrorists, but because it's so stupidly easy to blame the whole group when we don't know the individual. I mean, just look at what people say about Winter, even though the most horrendous fae I've heard of is the Queen of Summer!"
"Which is a good point," Ms. Rhodes agreed.
I nodded, glad she understood. "But isn't preventing that part of what I'm supposed to do? And it was Aspen who said something last night about how they might not be the bad guys, and I've been thinking about it since. I'm supposed to bring balance. That's what the Morrigan does. It's a concept so big I can't even understand it." I paused to lick my lips. "And what if I fail?"
"Rain, history is written by the victor," Ms. Rhodes assured me. "There are more Summer students here than anything else, which means those of us from Summer don't want to call ourselves evil. And yet, those who have felt the pain of war always want the other side to be the bad guys. For Summer, that's Winter. For Winter, it's Summer."
"And yet it's not!" I broke in. "That's what I'm trying to wrap my head around. Bracken's Summer, but he's my Zez. You're Summer, but you seem like you're on our side. Poppy Hawthorne's been helping, and I mean, Nevaeh. She's from the Summer Court, but inherited Winter magic. That's just fucked up for her, so does she end up a bad person to everyone?"
Ms. Rhodes reached for her own coffee. "I don't know. I also won't tell you it's going to be ok, because I can't be sure of that."
"But what if the Children of the Exodus are the same way, Ms. Rhodes? They want to make a new sanctuary on Earth while keeping their culture. You know, kinda like most immigrants to America. We like to remember our family's traditions, even if they aren't common, right? But this mess? It's all pointing at them. It's almost like it's designed to make us attack them - and I mean the court this time."
"What would that do?" Ms. Rhodes asked. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but I can't find the advantage it would give anyone."
"It would keep you from looking for whoever is really doing this," I said. "It would make Torian seem a lot like his mother,wiping out entire groups because of the group they're in, not the person they are. And - "
Movement made both of us look over to the wall to see my shadow pointing at me. When it realized it had our attention, it lifted its thumb.
"Do you know the answer, Shadow?" Ms. Rhodes asked it.
Shadow slowly shook its head.
So I twisted to see Jack where he sat on the back of the chair beside me. "Do you?"
"Jack!" he huffed. "Morrigan! Jack-Rain-Shadow." Then he flapped. "Enemy-Jack." He shook his head at that.
"Which means he doesn't know everything," I told Ms. Rhodes.
"I would be shocked if he did," she assured me. "Foresight is common among wildlings, but usually only in the immediate area, or moments before an incident. Proximity of some kind, at any rate." She leaned back again, using one hand to turn her mug on the table. "Rain, you should also know I've been researching Morrigans."
"Why?" Because I could easily think of a million reasons, and I was curious which one she was interested in.
"Because your situation seems unique. In the past, the Morrigan would often learn to take the shape of a flock of crows as an escape. He or she didn't travel with the crows - let alone the Crow King or Crow Prince. Then, of course, there's Shadow."
And on the wall, Shadow made a circling gesture, like reversing a wheel. As I watched, it kept going, and going, and going, sliding across the lit section of the wall. Only when it reached the corner did it stop.
"So I need to look at very ancient history?" Ms. Rhodes asked.
Shadow nodded.
"And what do I do?" I asked. "Aspen's clearly bothered by that girl being killed. I mean, I get it. She probably feels like she could be next. Torian's angry at the world, but that's normal. Hawke's been a little tense lately since Pascal accidentally saw his wings."
