“I walked for a while that night, after I saw you. I was angry—so angry. And I was trying to calm myself down…” I squeeze my eyes shut as if that will block out the image that has tattooed my brain for a decade. “Eventually, I went back to my room. I wanted to confront Phoebe, but she wasn’t there. Her backpack was missing, and I could tell she’d left. And that made me even angrier. Having the nerve to do what she did—to betray me like that.” I watch as Declan’s eyes dart away. “And then to just run away.”
Even now, my hand is trembling.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been that mad. I wanted her to look in my eyes and see what she’d done to me.
“So, I went after her. I figured she was out back behind the Inn somewhere. I knew she liked to wander out there to clear her mind. I passed the kitchen on my way out and…I don’t even know why I did it. I was so damn angry, and my emotions were all over the place…” I trail off. You would think after ten years of reliving this night I would have a clearer story. But the words stick in the far back of my throat, refusing to escape.
“Claire,” Declan prompts gently.
“I grabbed a knife from the kitchen—one of the big steak knives. And I went after her.”
36
Phoebe
Then
I know, even as Declan and I recover, dirt entwined in my hair and both of us breathing heavily, that there’s no going back. I have no choice now. It’s time to set the plan in motion.
“Phoebe,” Declan says gently as his breathing normalizes.
“Stop.” I can’t listen to his explanation, his clichéd excuses. Telling me it was a mistake, urging me not to say anything to Claire. I can’t bear any of it.
So, I stand, yanking my pants up, avoiding his eyes. “There’s nothing more to say, Dec.” His name squeaks out of my mouth as I force myself to regain control. “Goodbye.”
I don’t bother to turn around once I start walking. I know what I’d see. Declan, sitting in the dirt, confusion on his face and hurt in his eyes.
Instead, I take off at a steady pace back to the Inn. There’s one more thing to do.
***
Thankfully, Claire’s left the door to our room unlocked. I hold my breath as I throw it open, overcome with relief when I see she’s not there.
I grab my backpack, packing it full of essentials, including the box of hair dye I picked up from the town’s convenience store earlier today, and stuff my phone in my pocket. It’s too outdated to have any sort of tracking.
I’m out of the room in seconds, pausing only to glance at that hideous painting of a raven that hangs on the far wall. It looks even more ominous than usual.
“I can do this,” I say out loud to myself.
My brother’s voice claws at the edges of my brain, but I refuse to let it in. I refuse to listen to him anymore.
This is finally my chance. To start over for real. To leave Phoebe behind forever. To begin again as someone entirely different, with this baby growing inside of me. To build the life that this child deserves. The one my parents never gave me.
I rush out of the room, taking the stairs so quickly I nearly fall. But soon enough, I’m outside, the night air cool against my cheeks, my lungs finally expanding.
One day last week when Randy was out on a break, I fired up the old desktop in the Inn’s lobby, using Google Maps to pull up directions. Fifteen miles, the directions said. Far on foot, but not impossible. People run that for sport. The map showed me a shortcut—rather than cutting through the town of Jagged Rock, I couldhead west, out through the vast expanse of land that lies behind the Inn and into the neighboring town. Then, I’ll just need to make it one more town over until I reach Rollowong.
I’ll still be close to Jagged Rock, sure, but who would ever think to look for me there?
I take a deep breath, hitch the backpack up on my back and start walking. I’ve made it about half a mile, or at least that’s what I estimate, when I hear the sound.
A yell that reverberates through the dark silence of the night.
“Phoebe!”
My name is garbled in her voice, strung with anger and betrayal. As it should be.
My spine goes ramrod straight and I consider running. But I know Claire would catch up with me in a matter of seconds.
