He and Theo had settled in the games room, Theo begrudgingly doing homework despite the fact that school would be out in three days, Ollie flipping from book to book in Ty’s mother’s collection before literally choosing a book for its bright nineties-comic-style cover art.
Sadly, it didn’t occur to him until he flopped onto the couch that this room might not be great for his ability to concentrate on things that weren’t thoughts of Ty. But he wasn’t going to leave. He had some kind of idea that this time together, working on independent projects,countedfor something, parenting-wise. He didn’t want to banish Theo to do homework by himself in case that made him associate school with punishment.
The book quickly sucked him in anyway, painting a vivid picture of a fantasy world comically like earth. Something about it felt familiar, like a worn childhood blanket wrapped around his shoulders, comfortable and broken in. It seemed like only moments had passed when Theo said, “Dad?” and Ollie looked up to realize he’d read fifty pages.
Blinking, he marked the page with one of the coasters from the coffee table and sat up. “What’s up, buddy?”
“Are you gonna get married again like Percy Jackson’s mom?”
Ollie took a moment to sort through his reaction to that, because he didn’t quite know where to start. Well, no, he did—shoving down the panic that somehow Theo had found out about him and Ty before Ollie told him anything. No point jumping to conclusions. He took a deep breath and began with the obvious. “I’ve never been married before.”
Theo put down his pencil and turned in his chair so he was facing Ollie. “Why?”
Talk about a loaded question. Ollie considered a handful of responses—I never found the right person, orI was focused on my job—and discarded each of them for being less honest than he wanted to be. “Most adults want to date someone for a while before they get married to make sure they get along well enough.” Okay, that was an oversimplification. “And I haven’t really had time to date someone like that.”
“’Cause you were a soldier?”
“Exactly.”
Theo digested this for a second before continuing, more hesitantly, “Did you and Mom not get along well enough?”
Oh.That was where this was going. Maybe Ollie should have expected this. He and Allison had always promised to be totally open about how Theo came into the world, allowing for child-appropriate omissions, but this was the first time Theo was asking Ollie about any of it. Maybe he thought Allison had lied?
Ollie sent up a silent prayer of thanks into the universe that Allison had been as straightforward as people came. “Your mom and I were best friends, Theo, but she never wanted to get married to anyone.”
Theo frowned in thought. “Like Annabeth’s mom inPercy Jackson?”
Thank God for his kid being an avid reader. “Just like that.”
Unfortunately, the questions did not end there. “Did youwant to marry her?”
What was in this kid’s homework that turned him into the Spanish Inquisition? “I loved your mom a lot, Theo, but it wasn’t a romantic kind of love. I was happy being her friend. But when she asked me if I wanted to be your dad….” Ollie pursed his lips and considered his next words. “I always wanted to have a family, and I couldn’t do that by myself when I was in the Army. But your mom gave me the chance to be a dad, and that was the best thing anyone ever did for me. I will always love her, and I will always miss her, okay?”
“Okay.” But if he’d expected this to assuage Theo’s curiosity, he was sadly disappointed. “But you still want to get married someday?”
Ollie wondered if guilt could give you hives. Did Theo know something about him and Ty? Why couldn’t Theo have asked him this tomorrow, when Ollie had professional advice on how to handle it? “Yeah,” Ollie hedged. “If I find someone I get along with well enough—and someoneyouget along with well enough. You’re my number-one guy, remember?”
Theo rolled his eyes. “I know, Dad.” He slid off the chair and rearranged himself on the carpet near Ollie’s feet.
“And—if I ever do get married, whoever it is, I’m not going to let anyone try to replace your mom.”
Nodding, Theo plucked at the decaying carpet. Ollie couldn’t quite get a read on him with his face bowed like that, but he didn’t think Theo was on the verge of tears. He seemed thoughtful but calm. It struck Ollie how much growing up his kid had done in the past seven months, between beating cancer and losing his mother and starting a new school, even getting caught up in math class. He was resilient and brave. Ollie couldn’t take credit for much of it, but that didn’t stop him from swelling with pride.
When Theo looked up, Ollie found he was right—no tears, no red-rimmed eyes, just a serious expression and a slightly furrowed brow. “Will you tell me about her?”
“Of course!” The syllables fell over each other trying to escape his mouth, pushed out by relief. Theo’s therapist had told him he’d ask when he was ready, but Ollie was starting to wonder. Now all he had to do was hold it together while talking about his dead best friend. He patted the couch beside him and waited for Theo to climb up. He didn’t sit in Ollie’s lap—he was too old for that, apparently, which sucked a little because physical comfort came a lot easier to Ollie thantalking—but he pulled his legs up onto the cushions and turned his body toward Ollie’s so his shin touched Ollie’s thigh. “What do you want to know?”
“When did you start being friends?”
“Oh no, you’re going to make me do math?” Ollie joked. Theo giggled. “I was—I guess I would’ve been twenty-two, so more than ten years ago. Your mom was a little older, almost thirty, I think. I didn’t know that right away, though.” Allison would’ve smacked him good-naturedly for revealing her age, just for show.
Theo pulled a pillow into his lap. “How come?”
“Well—did your mom ever tell youhowwe met?” Off Theo’s headshake, Ollie smiled. “It was a book club. When you’re deployed, you’re either really busy”—trying not to die—“or you’re bored. But our base had a good internet connection, so I went online and found a book club. We would all read a book a week, and there was a discussion board—like Twitter, I guess, but all private, and just for talking about books—and we’d all talk about what we liked and what we didn’t.”
“So you didn’t know that Mom was in the Army too?”
“Not at first. And she was already out by the time we started talking to each other. We were never deployed together, but it was nice that she understood what the life was like. Once we realized we had that in common, we started emailing too. Your mom was really smart—good taste in books too.”
