“He deserves it,” Ty said immediately. “You both do.”
“So do you.” Ollie backed off with his touch and ate a few bites of his sandwich while Ty processed. He had no illusions that they were finished with this conversation. He was kind of surprised Ty hadn’t shown up in the kitchen with a checklist.
After a minute, Ty had collected himself enough to speak again. “Okay, so, uh, here’s another question with no wrong answer. Obviously we’re not going to be sharing a bed until you talk to Theo, but… after that?”
Oh.
“It’s weird,” Ollie said meditatively as he used his crust to sop up the last of the ketchup on his plate. “Because I haven’t ever done that, actually.”
Ty spun his stool to face him. “What, seriously?”
“I’ve been in the military my entire adult life. I spent most of that time deployed or on base. When Allison died and I had to come home, it took three weeks before I got used to sleeping in her queen-size bed. Most of the time I slept better on a cot in Theo’s hospital room. And not just because I could keep an eye on him, you know?”
Ty hummed and stood up with his plate, gesturing to ask if Ollie wanted another sandwich. He shook his head; fruit and vegetables were the next order of business. Ty pulled out the containers of precut carrotsand cucumbers and one of washed berries out of the fridge and set them down between their places. “I’m not actually good at it,” he admitted.
Ollie tilted his head. “At… sleeping in the same bed as someone else?”
Nodding, Ty sat down and popped a strawberry in his mouth. When he’d swallowed, he said, “It’s, uh, sometimes I can’t get my brain to shut up. If the person next to me doesn’t fall asleep quickly, I’ll wonder if I’m moving around too much, breathing too loud. Or what if I fall asleep first and I snore and my partner gets mad at me.”
Ollie was starting to understand that he had maybe only scratched the surface of an untapped well of self-esteem issues. “I don’t know what I’d be like to sleep with. I woke up mad at myself this morning because the PTSD nightmares can get pretty bad, and what if I accidentally hurt Theo in my sleep?”
Ty paused with a carrot stick halfway to his open mouth. He set it back down on his plate. “If we try to sleep in the same bed, neither one of us is going to get any rest, huh?” He said it lightly, but Ollie felt the weight behind the words.
“We’ll just have to wear each other out the first couple times, maybe, so we’re too tired to think about it.” That got a smile. “And then once we’ve proved we can do it, it’ll be a piece of cake.” He stopped and thought about it. “But I mean, I can’t control my PTSD any more than you can control your anxiety. I think we have to accept that it’s possible we might have to kick ourselves, or each other, out of bed.” He gestured toward the house. “It’s not like you don’t have the room.”
Ty managed a weak smile. “Yeah, I guess. But it’s not very romantic.”
It would be a lot less romantic if I snapped your neck in your sleep, Ollie thought, but that was extreme, maybe. He had no reason to think he’d do that. He didn’t need to scare Ty off, and he didn’t want to seem overly defensive. “You can make it up to me,” he said instead, which earned a laugh and a coveted loosening of Ty’s shoulders.
Good.
“Yeah, I can do that.” Ty pulled Ollie off the bar stool and slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans.
Ollie hadn’t meantright now, but… well. He did have some lost time to make up for, especially if Ty was going to be leaving next week. And it feltgood, cozying up to Ty in the kitchen, sharing body heat, trading kisses that weren’t going anywhere with Theo likely to wake up at any moment.
And maybe Ollie had never really missed anyone before. Maybe he was used to the people he cared about being absent from his life. But maybe he’d just never had someone like Ty to miss. He had the sneaking suspicion that he was about to find out.
Chapter 16
SUNDAY MORNINGTy woke up groggy and disoriented, half convinced that the whole week had been a dream. But when he reached for his phone on the bedside table, he encountered the note he’d written himself the night before.
Yes, Ollie is your boyfriend now.
Andthatwas a nice thought, even if it would’ve been nicer with Ollie next to him instead of the note. Ty loved a cuddle. But he was pretty sure Ollie would still cuddle with him, even if they never managed to actually sleep in the same bed.
He let himself bask in it for a few minutes, but eventually he had to get up. He had plans to make, things to do, people to talk to. He needed to figure out a strategy for this stupid town hall meeting next week, which meant not only talking to Eliza but rescheduling his flight to Chicago. He’d have to talk to his captain about his return-to-work date.
First things first. If he was going to tackle a to-do list that long, he needed a good breakfast.
The kitchen was empty when he entered, though he had no illusions that Ollie was still asleep. Yesterday morning had been the outlier for sure; Ollie was a horrifying morning person through and through. Ty went warm to his core when he saw there was fresh coffee in the coffee maker, even though Ollie had been leaving him coffee for weeks. That had been his friend Ollie. This was hisboyfriendOllie.
His boyfriend Ollie who was currently outside cutting Ty’s grass, apparently. Shirtless, wearing a ball cap and aviators. Ty needed to put some food in his belly, because the sight was making him lightheaded. Fortunately he had a lot of yard, so there was plenty of time to make himself something to eat and then sit outside with his second cup of coffee and watch the world go by.
Ty was surveying the dishwasher and fridge to determine whether Ollie had eaten anything substantial for breakfast when Theo shuffled into the kitchen.
They hadn’t exactly made up the night before. Theo had been grumpy and tired and discombobulated from too much sugar and too much sun and too much excitement. But he hadn’t bristled at Ty’s presence either, when the three of them retired to the living room to watch baseball before bed. Ty had relegated himself to the armchair so Theo wouldn’t have to choose between being close to his dad or avoiding Ty.
He knew he was doing the right thing, getting out of the way, but he missed the way things used to be.
