“There’s gotta be something.” Left arm back down, right arm up. Ollie hoped his armpit didn’t stink. Ty basically had his nose in it. “Childhood chicken pox?”
“Never got it.”
Ty spun him around to examine his back. “Acne scars?”
“My mom does not fuck around with skin care.”
“You playedsports,” Ty protested. “You never fell down, skinned your knee?”
“Sure, but scabs heal.”
“Crabs?” Ty asked, half humor, half desperation.
The idea made Ollie laugh out loud. “Are you deranged?” What kind of infestation would leave lasting marks?
He barely heard Ty mutter, “It’s starting to feel that way.” Then he opened his mouth and his eyes caught Ollie’s and Ollie couldhear him thinking. Ty’s entire being was broadcasting the extremely personal question he was about to ask. It was practically bursting out of him. “Wait, are you—”
“IfI was,” Ollie interrupted, because he wasn’t committing to answering, “would it count as a scar?”
Ty held his gaze for a moment and then broke it, admitting, “I don’t count it as one of mine. Maybe I should, though.”
Zero personal boundaries. Just casually mentioning to your friend that you were circumcised. Ollie shook his head fondly and they both sank back into the water.
“I give up,” Ty said. The long line of his arm stretched out as he reached for his beer. Hell of a wingspan, Ollie thought, absently tracking the flex of muscle under inked skin. “You are flawless.”
“Definitely not.” Ollie glanced over at the hot tub settings and wondered if he should turn the heat down, but no, it was at a normal setting. “All my flaws are on the inside.” He thought Ty knew him better than that by now.
Ty pulled his right arm across his chest with his left, stretching out the muscle. “I’m not sure your inability to cook counts as a flaw,” he teased.
But Ollie resisted the pull back toward silliness. “How about my inability to make a decision for myself?”
“What?” Ty furrowed his brow. “What are you talking about? You agreed to be a sperm donor for your friend. Youjoined the militaryout of high school. Those are huge decisions.”
Shaking his head, Ollie reached for his beer. He slid his thumbnail under the label and scraped up some of the glue and paper. “Joining the Army was my wayoutof making a decision. I wasn’t ready to figure out the rest of my life, but I didn’t want my parents to figure it out for me. I was just buying time. I figured I could at least make a difference while I did it, but that didn’t turn out the way I planned.”
“Okay, well, what about Theo, then?”
Another head shake. “That was never really—Allison didn’t ask me to help raise him, you know? I mean sure, she wanted me there as backup in case, but she just wanted the, uh—”
“Baby batter?” Ty supplied, batting his lashes.
Jesus. “I can’t believe they let you around children.” He flicked water across the hot tub. “That’s different from deciding I wanted to be a dad.”
“But youdiddecide that,” Ty pointed out. “That was part of the original agreement, right? And anyone can see how much you love Theo.”
Reluctantly, Ollie admitted Ty had a point. “Theo was the easiest decision I ever made, I guess. It never felt like I decided. And he’s also the best thing I’ve done, but I’ve only been his dad for a few months. Doesn’t seem like I should get to take credit for him.”
Ty’s empty bottle made athunkas he set it on the edge of the hot tub. “Not this again. Are you angling for another pep talk?”
He wasn’t—he really didfeellike he was doing a good job with Theo, even if the rest of his life was a shambles. He hated his job, he hadn’t exactly found a home of his own, and his parents weren’t talking to him for reasons so stupid Ollie couldn’t even put them into words.
But he wantedsomething. He just hadn’t put his finger on exactly what.
In reply, Ollie shook his head. “No, sorry, I think I’m just in kind of a weird mood.”
“Hot-tub drunk?”
“On half a beer?”
