Rowan loved him—had done for months—and now was a hell of a time to throw off all his denial and finally admit to it. Rowan was in love with a man who saw him as a stand-in. Rowan was imitation cheese.
This was Devon Jones all over again, the “straight” boy Rowan had kissed and been thoroughly rejected by for being so very wrong about Devon’s sexuality… six months before Devon started publicly dating another boy.
Only this time it was so much worse. Rowan hadn’t loved Devon.
Belatedly Rowan realized Jordy was standing there waiting, like there was an expected, scripted reply Rowan was supposed to give and he couldn’t relax until he did.
Rowan had no idea what that might be.You’re welcomeseemed a bit… off. “Right. Well, I’m glad you’ve had your epiphany.” He hoped he sounded normal and not like a man who’d had his own gut-wrenching epiphany not thirty seconds prior.
“I—” Jordy was still going for eye contact, but Rowan couldn’t meet his gaze. He needed to get out of here. “You—you deserved to know why I—”
“Yes.” Rowan nodded, then nodded again like an idiot. He couldn’t stop nodding. He took a step toward the door. “Anyway, I have stuff to get done. Paperwork to fill out. Things to do. Early rise tomorrow. Night.”
Then he fled.
Once in his suite with the door locked behind him, Rowan crumpled. God, he was such an idiot. How long had he spent deep in denial about his own feelings in a deluded attempt to protect himself? Naturally this only set him up for worse heartbreak. Because there was nothing hypothetical about Jordy and their relationship now. Rowan knew exactly who and what he was losing—what he’d be missing for the rest of his life. No one could blame him for going to bed about it.
Overtime
JORDY STAREDat the dripping dishes on the drying rack and tried to breathe.
Judging by Rowan’s panicked flight from the room, an actual relationship with Jordy was the last thing he wanted. He literally ran away from the idea.
Rowan had always said that he and Jordy couldn’t be more than casual. Jordy had hoped that was just about logistics, but looking back, he had to wonder if that line had been anything more than an easy out—advance warning he was letting Jordy down easy.
Jordy felt like a fool.
It was barely after eight, but he turned out all the lights and retired to his bedroom, ready to call an end to this disastrous day and hope for a better tomorrow.
Naturally he slept like shit, and the next day wasn’t any better. If he thought Rowan was avoiding him before….
He stayed in his rooms until Jordy left with Kaira for school drop-off. He was gone by the time Jordy got home, but Jordy hadn’t expected otherwise since he’d gone straight from the school to morning practice. Then Rowan didn’t come home for dinner. In fact, he got home so late that Jordy was already brushing his teeth and staring manically at his phone, wondering if it would be creepy and overbearing if he texted Rowan to ask him if he was still alive.
Just as he was about to give in and text a shortyou okay?he heard the front door open. Jordy dashed for his bedroom door—then took a deep breath and forced himself to slow down, play it cool.
He opened the doorway a foot so he could look out and spotted Rowan sneaking down the hall. There was no other word for it. He wasn’t on tiptoes, but he was moving quickly and quietly in sock feet.
Rowan paused at the door leading to the lower level, as if he knew Jordy was watching. For a long, agonizing few seconds, they stood there in the quiet darkness of the house, holding their breaths, waiting.
Then Rowan took the steps down.
So. Jordy had fallen in love with his friend, and then he made such a mess of things that he had probably ruined any hope he had of retaining that friendship.
Maybe there was a good reason why Jordy had been single since his divorce.
After another morning of invisible Rowan, which did not make for a pleasant breakfast with Kaira, who didn’t understand why her favorite person had missed two breakfasts in a row, Jordy decided to look on the bright side. At least it couldn’t get any worse.
So of course that was when his agent called and let him know he’d been traded to Vancouver.
Two thousand miles away from his baby.
Because Kaira would have to stay in Toronto, at least for a little while.
The only good thing about the trade was that Vancouver had played last night and had a rare three days off, and Orcas management had been kind enough to give Jordy a full twenty-four hours to organize his life before he hopped a plane.
Instead of napping for his upcoming game, Jordy called Gem and started to put things in order. Thank God he had finally settled on a nanny a few days prior, so he had someone to staywith Kaira for the next few weeks. With just over a month left before the winter break, and since Jordy would be busy trying to learn a new team and wouldn’t have time to find and set up a new home, pulling Kaira out of school and dragging her to Vancouver tomorrow didn’t make sense. As much as it killed him to leave her—the longest they’d ever been separated was any of his weeklong road trips—he knew it would be better for her and less disruptive than spending those weeks out of school and hanging around a hotel room with Jordy’s mother.
Jordy had never felt his lack of partner more. There was so much that needed doing, and even if he was delegating through Gem and a series of professionals, just making the decisions was exhausting. Pack up and sell the house in January or wait for the summer? Move everything to Vancouver or put some in storage and wait until he signed his next contract? Public or private school in Vancouver? And their new home—buy or rent? Condo or house? He just wanted to be able to turn to someone—to Rowan—and say, “What do you think?”
