“Fuck.” She grimaced. “I didn’t even think…. That was such an insensitive question.”
Dante gave a tiny, tight-shouldered shrug. “Your mom seems fine with us. You didn’t know my grandmother wasn’t.”
“I could’vesuspected. I’m sorry.” She shifted on the couch so she had her arms and head pillowed on the armrest, feet tucked up close.
“It’s okay.” But now wasn’t the time to come clean with the rest of it. Dante’s grandmother basically disowned him when he wouldn’t leave Gabe. When she died a few weeks later, she left a note saying she didn’t understand, but she loved him. Dante had complicated feelings about it. “I haven’t been in a church since her funeral.”
“Fuck,” Michelle said. “Jesus. I’m so sorry. What a thing to make you relive on Christmas Eve.”
“I wouldn’t change anything, you know? If I could do it again.” What he had with Gabe was so far beyond worth the trade. “I have a good life. There are a lot of good people in it.” But now he needed to deflect the conversation away from his past, please. “Why do you ask?”
“Ha!” She blew out a loud breath. “You know when you said ‘that’s complicated’?”
An involuntary snort escaped him.
But Michelle continued a second later. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t worry, probably. Lots of people have mixed-faith multiracial families and make it work. Mom’s Catholic the same way your dad is. No one’s going to tell her who she can love—or who anyoneelsecan love. And she isn’t up my ass aboutme leaving the church either. I just… I’ve always wanted a big family. Did I tell you that?”
He smiled, remembering their discussion from the night before. “No, but it’s not surprising.”
“I never wantedkids. But the overflowing house on special occasions is kind of unavoidably wholesome.”
“If you’ve got the right people,” Dante pointed out. And if you called polyglot cursing over dominoes wholesome, probably.
“Granted.” She picked up her mug, frowned at the contents or lack thereof, and set it back down. “When I went away to university, I felt so grown-up, like I didn’t need that anymore. And then I met Rob, and he didn’t have much family, and I told myself that was okay because we’d make our own, even if that meant friends instead of kids. Except of course Rob didn’t have any friends because he was an asshole.”
Dante decided not to ask how they’d gotten around holidays if he’d also been engaged to his coworker. “Well, I don’t know if we’ll ever qualify as a big family. Me and Gabe are both only children.” At least technically. “And having kids of our own is biologically challenging. But you’re always welcome here.”
“Hmm.” She smiled, pink-cheeked in the low light. “Maybe your family is bigger on the inside.”
He tilted his head to the side. “What?”
Michelle gasped and sat straight up. “Oh my God, you’ve never seenDoctor Who?” She made grabby hands for the remote. “Pass it over. We can start with the Christmas special.”
Bemused, Dante obeyed. Then he surveyed the coffee table, bereft of cocoa and delicious baked goods. “You want another round?”
BY THEtime Gabe got home, Dante was in bed, silently reminding himself that Gabe and Chris had a capable four-wheel-drive vehicle and experience driving in the snow and that Gabe had checked in just half an hour before. Lord knew where he and Chris had been all night; maybe they’d found a Tim Hortons that was open late. If that was the case, he hoped Gabe had at least signed something for the poor employees stuck working past midnight on Christmas Eve.
“Hey.” Dante rolled over so he was facing Gabe’s side of the bed. Moonlight reflecting off the snow outside crept around the edges of the curtains, providing an outline to see by.
“Hey.” Gabe crawled under the covers. “You’re still awake.”
Did Gabe think he wouldn’t wait up for him, tonight of all nights? “Michelle fed me too much sugar.”
That made him laugh. “She’ll learn soon enough.”
Would she, now? Dante edged one leg forward tentatively. As he expected, Gabe’s right foot was an ice block. “Jesus Christ, Gabriel.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” He took Gabe’s hand in his and trapped his foot under his calf. He might as well warm it up now. “You want to talk about it?”
“I spent all night talking about it,” Gabe protested, which was not a no. Dante waited him out. “He’s going to ask her to marry him on New Year’s.”
Good for him, Dante thought. He deserved a little happy ever after. “And?” he prompted.
He thought Gabe would sigh, or show some sign of misgivings—after all, this did seem kind of sudden—but he only squeezed Dante’s fingers. “It’s weird,” he said. “I never thought about it. When you’re a kid, you don’t think of your parents as people who have lives outside of you and work.”
That seemed true. It was weird and exciting to think that they might one day be on the other side of that. And bittersweet, since who knew how long it might take.
