Probably still sleeping, he sent the group chat.He’s got the room next to me, I’ll get him.
He toweled off his face and hair, threw on a pair of jeans, and then rummaged through his bag for a T-shirt. He frowned when he spotted one he didn’t remember… and pulled it out only to discover it was Carter’s T-ball shirt.
He ran his thumb over the letters ofRhodes’s Garageand smiled. Had Carter left this in Jeff’s bag on purpose?
Feeling sappy, Jeff pulled it on, shoved his feet into his shoes, and knocked on their adjoining doors.
No answer.
“Max?”
Jeff opened his side. Max’s wasn’t latched, just most of the way closed. “Max?” he called again as he pushed the door open. “Are you in—”
His heart stopped.
On the floor in front of the coffee table sat Max, hunched over with his arms around his knees. He was staring fixedly in front of him at three long white lines. A small bag of powder and a razorblade lay next to them.
For several long heartbeats, Jeff couldn’t speak. His tongue felt thick in his mouth. Finally he whispered, “Max?”
Max blinked slowly. He didn’t move except to raise his head the tiniest increment. His eyes looked hollowed-out and desperate.
Carefully, Jeff lowered himself to the floor on the opposite side of the table. His heart thudded painfully against his ribs. “Max, buddy, what’s going on?”
Max took a deep, shuddering breath, then let it all out, heavily enough that some of the coke blew across the table. In the back of his mind, Jeff knew he was fucked if anyone found them like this, but he couldn’t leave Max. Not now. “I….” Max swallowed and put his hands over his face, digging the heels of his palms into his eye sockets. His shoulders shook, but he didn’t make a sound.
Finally he pulled his hands away. His voice cracked when he said, “I think I need to go to rehab.”
Relief washed through Jeff like a tsunami, leaving his eyes wet, but grief rendered him speechless. A lump formed in his throat, and he swallowed around it. “Max—”
“I saw it,” Max said. “When I was sick onstage, I know you guys thought—I’ve never used before a show. I’ve wanted to, God, but I never. I wouldn’t do that to you. Because you’re my friends.” He clenched his hands into fists. “And then I thought, ‘Max, you fucking asshole, of course they think you’d do that.’ I stole from you. I stole from yourboyfriend. I made you and Trix and Joe clean up my messes. And ever since then, all I can think about is….”
Three lines of coke.
Jeff wiped a hand over his mouth. “What….” He stopped to clear his throat. “What do you want to do?”
He couldn’t go on like this.
“I don’t know. Not….” He waved a hand to indicate the table. “I don’t want to leave the band. But I think maybe the band is leaving without me. I think maybe it should.”
Fuck. Jeff’s eyes burned again, but he blinked it back. “It’s not because of you.”
“It’s notnotbecause of me,” Max countered. “Look. I heard you and Joe talking, so I know…. He’s got other things to worry about.”
Jeff opened his mouth to correct him, but Max went on as though he didn’t care.
“And Trix? You think drummers like her come around every day? She thinks I don’t know, but she’s been talking to some other women in music. They’re stupid if they don’t ask her to sign on, and she’d do it in a fucking heartbeat if it weren’t for me.” His face twisted in a rictus of misery. “Because she thinks it’s her fault I’m like this.”
Swallowing, Jeff reached into his pocket for his phone. This seemed like the time to have some backup. It buzzed in his hand, now, but he didn’t want to draw attention to it. He left it where it was. “Trix knows….” What? That Max didn’t blame her? That it wasn’t really her fault?
“Does she?” Max asked. He didn’t give Jeff time to respond. “And you. You keep asking for more time off. I get it. I do. God knows the only reason I’ve been able to keep up this long has been going up my nose.”
This wasn’t how Jeff wanted things to go. He’d really thought…. He didn’t know what he’d been thinking. Joe needed a year or more off, realistically, or else a complete rethinking of their usual touring style, and Max needed to flush his system.
Trix—maybe some time away from them would be good for her.
And Jeff?
Jeff loved the stage. He loved the music. He loved his band.
